Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Saffron

The summer had been blissful until Reading, Glastonbury had been a blur of alcohol and drugs, and Radiohead. Fliss had nearly died on Rudy's shoulders tears streaming down her cheeks to No Surprises, and I'd felt like I was shimmering the whole night.

I'd not heard from Rhys in a long time and although she'd never said much about it before, I could tell that Dan had finally stopped calling Fliss, leaving spiteful voice messages at 3am.

I'd always been more worried about her than me and she'd only ever worried about me. She said Dan was different, Dan only cheated, but Dan was no different to Rhys and she knew it. If he had only cheated she wouldn't lock herself in the bathroom whenever he turned up at parties.
If he had only cheated she wouldn't have spent so long trying to make sure he was alright.

Fliss put on a brave face but it was only face paints and makeup, she was only sparkling because of the glitter on her cheeks and the drug enthused delirium in her eyes.

She was scared of the lads finding out, of Van and the rest of them changing their minds about her, deciding she wasn't as fun as they'd first anticipated and leaving. Thats why when Dan had called she'd never said anything, when his voice messages had left her with a heavy heart at 3am, she'd turned LCD Soundsystem up a bit more, forced a grin and jumped about the room with them until she'd managed to shrug it off like the rest of them.

That was why it had meant so much to her the day Van had taken an instant dislike to him, told him to fuck off without knowing the gravitas behind his actions. Of course she'd never tell him what it meant to her, and he'd probably never find out, but she'd smiled to me about it for days afterwards, and even now, sometimes when she was giddy and drunk and missing her new best friends she'd bring it up again and I'd grin along with her, remembering the time he'd thrown himself in Rhys's firing line for her too.

"He's just one of them people isn't she," she grinned at 4am, wandering back through the lonely field as the sun threatened to rise. "He's just a good person isn't he, you know like he says he cares and then he actually cares...."

"Rarety these days isn't it," I mused with a soft smile. "So why don't you you know..." I nudged her playfully, curious to see how she might respond but she didnt get the chance.

When I looked up from the ground I saw then both standing outside the entrance to the VIP channel which lead back to the campsite we were staying in.

"Fliss," I said quietly trailing off in hopes that she'd have a better answer.
Her hand shook as she took it in mine, giving me a gentle squeeze, trying to pretend that I was the only one with a reason to be scared.

"Evening girls," grinned Rhys, clearly drunk, clearly drugged, we weren't close enough that he could reach out and touch us, but soon enough we would be and my stomach twisted at the thought.

That was when Fliss started speaking, but not to them and not to me.

"hiya," she spoke quietly at first, a little timid and soft, "I'm really sorry if I woke you up duck..." She started and I knew exactly who she was talking to as her voice got louder and Rhys and Dan both became a little more subdued. "yeah we're just walking back from a party, yeah it was class, mental, but I wish yous lot woulda been here," she was smiling now, her hand holding mine pulling me into our side.

"Saffy babe let's talk," Rhys grabbed at my free hand and tried to tug me towards them but Fliss snapped back just as quickly and shocked him senseless.

"Get to fuck you noncey bastard an leave her alone," she said, I heard Van's laughter down the telephone and smiled softly myself because the boys were too suprised to retaliate, Rhys dropping my hand in a second.

"Oh nothing it was just Rhys," she shrugged into the telephone, wincing and sighing as Dan called out after her.

"Of fuck off then you miserable bitch, I never really liked you anyway!"

"And that was Dan," she said a little quieter, picking up the pace as we neared the tent. "yeah the twatty one from uni..." She giggled relaxing once again. "No you wouldn't don't be daft," she laughed twizzling her hair around her finger as we crawled into the tent we were sharing and settled down.

I could hear him laughing too and it settled me a little as I lay down, thinking how lucky we'd been that he'd been awake to answer the call, if we hadn't had a potential witness around we'd have probably been much worse off just then.

When she hung up she flopped down by my side and let out a sigh.

"God girl why do we have such shite taste in men," she smirked.

"We don't, anymore," she smiled back, eyes closed as she settled and shrunk beneath her duvet. She always took a duvet camping with her, said it was warmer, said sleeping backs felt weird and plasticy and wrong. She wasn't wrong. On journey days she'd throw it over us in the back seats and we'd have our own little bed in the car to snuggle up beneath and sleep to the Kooks.

"Where do you think the other girls are?" I yawned, she yawned too and shrugged her shoulders.

"At a party,"

"What Katie?"

"No," giggled Fliss, "bet Katie went to bed hours ago,"

"Good she can drive us up north then can't she," I smirked, Fliss nodding along with her eyes closed, half asleep.