Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Katie

I was nervous again. Obviously nervous, and i had been since the moment I'd woken up.

Only a little at first, only the beginnings of nerves, the first few butterfly flutters in my tummy. The first few tingles of uncertainty down my spine.

But I was lucky today, because I wouldn't get the opportunity to dwell on them for too long, because the rest of my friends were filled with a busyness, an excitable current which was contagious. And whenever I drifted past Fliss or Jazz I caught a little of their buzz and I found myself smiling to myself about nothing in particular.

I was just sort of happy to be there with them. If I had to do this with anyone, if I had to feel these kind of frights, then at least it was with these people. People i loved very much.

And then there was Ben.

Ben who I'd woken up wrapped up in, who'd yawned and mumbled into my hair, told me not to go when I'd rolled off the bed, toes skimming the floor.
He'd reached for my hand to try and stop me leaving the confort of our matress and the duvet we'd been nestled in, and then when I'd shaken my head, smiled and giggled, told him I had to go, he'd forced himself up with a dramatic sigh.

"Right, right," he'd said forcing a smile despite his grumbling tone, "alright then," he'd yawned as he'd stumbled around the room, following me into the bathroom to get dressed.

I'd laughed at him, half way through a yawn, as he struggled to stumble into the shower, tugging on my arm to pull me in with him. And once the water had splashed me there was no point fighting back, so i let him undress me and discard my soaked clothes on the bathroom floor.

"This should be every mornin," hed yawned, still tired, but smiling as he pulled away from a kiss and the steam got in our eyes.

I leant my head against his chest and closed my eyes, felt the water wash over me, bouncing of his skin onto mine, dripping from his hair into mine. He wrapped his arms around me, pushed a kiss to my forehead and then, when I tilted my head, met his lips with mine, I felt him smiling and I agreed.

I wished it could be every morning.

I didnt feel long distance all that much, ever a solitary kind of girl, ever the kind of girl who was used to the ones she loved being a distant memory. But today I felt it, an ache like no other. Like he'd been away for too long and now that I'd just got him back he'd be leaving again.

"I don't want you to go," i said softly, my lips brushing his collar bone as I nestled into him, his wet hair a darker shade, sticking to his skin.

I combed my fingers through it and he caught my hand, wrapped his long fingers around mine and held me close to him. His other hand trailed a finger down my spine, rested on the dimple at the bottom of my back.

"I know love," he said softly, his voice thick with sleep, "I was thinkin though," he said yawning again, making me smile and smiling too, laughing at himself a little as he shifted to rub his eyes under the water, "i was thinkin you could come stay with me for a little while, when you're tours all finished. It sorta times well with us gettin a bit of time off before we have to start up again for album three and..." he looked uncertain, not nervous but like he thought there was something he was missing. A detail he'd forgotten, which meant that my answer would have to be no, that I was about to point out.

But if there was a detail i didnt know about it and the smile that split my lips was slow and full of joy.

"Yeah," I hummed, smiling into his neck as I wrapped my arms around him, "i think that'd be nice," i said softly forgetting the degree I'd end up deferring.

"Yeah?" he grinned stepping back only so he might look down at me, only stepping closer upon his return to kiss me a little deeper than the last. And it lasted a little longer than the last too.