Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Fliss

"Shucka shucka feel good, shucka shucka feel good," I sang with a smirk mischievous eyes locking with Saffs as she cracked a smile and tried not to laugh.

We were midway through one of our little writing sessions, trying our best to get through one of our songs but I hadn't been able to help myself.

"For fuck sake," she giggled giving up with a frustrated strum of the guitar in her hands, "we're never finishing that if you insist upon pretending to be damon albarn every time we hit the bridge..."

"But it flows so well," I smirked, "we should sample it..."

"Shut the fuck up," she laughed me off glancing to the clock on her bedroom wall. It had stopped last month, 3:39 on a tuesday night. I remember because I'd been tripping on her bedroom floor and been convinced the earth had stopped turning. "What time is it? Don't we have a gig later?"

"Tomorra," I chuckled, "its tomorra," she smiled at me then, but it didn't quite sit right, her eyes were still a little red rimmed, a little bloodshot and I could no longer tell whether it were the mornings after spent crying or the drugs she was taking to keep her going through the night, either way the heartbreak had really taken its hold and everything she said seemed to fall a little flat. I was becoming increasingly aware that if something didn't change soon, if he didn't call, if he didn't come back, she was going to fall a part. 

"Where is it?" she asked a little vacantly gazing up at the window over her shoulder, the sun was wavering in the sky, overshadowed by clouds and the threat of an afternoon shower. "Camden right?"

"Soho," I breathed trying to smile through her disarray. She was usually the organised one, usually the one that kept track of gigs and rehearsals, of bills and rent payments, the things that mattered most, but those last few days it had all been on me. A fact I still wasn't best impressed with. 

That was when her phone rang and broke the haze that was beginning to settle, she looked from me to the screen all lit up with Rhys picture and I shrugged my shoulders with a helpless smile.

"I'll roll," I sighed pushing myself up as she picked the phone up and braced herself for another fight.
I wandered out into the hall listening for a moment as Saffron deteriorated in the next room until I felt like an intruder and I began listening to something else. Up stairs Katie was singing along to George Harrison, All Things Must Pass, humming the guitar lines and all as she wandered around her room. I decided that there was no better company in which to roll a few and stepped up onto the ladder to climb into her bedroom, poking my head through the trap door with a smile.

"And the mystical powers of George Harrison have claimed another," grinned Alice from the bed surprising me. Katies room wasn't particularly big but it was big enough for us all to lay about quite comfortably when we wanted to. "Wheres Saff?" She asked though she didn't need an answer letting out a sigh before I could confirm her fears.

"She needs to move on doesn't she," said Katie a little softly.

"She's not the kind of girl that likes to be alone..." I shrugged grinding the weed I had left and pouring it carefully into some skins. "Is Jazz over later I need to pick up,"

"We've got rehearsal tomorrow morning but thats it," shrugged Alice, "you can have a bit of mine," she offered me a smile but Katie looked positively sick, pale skin and all.
It had only been a few days since she'd sobered up and the churning in her guts at the thought of new intoxicants was still pretty gruelling.

"God its not fair," she groaned closing her eyes, burying her face in the duvet.

"Give it a few days and you'll be grand..." I shrugged, we'd seen her bounce back before, this time would be no different.

"But it means ill have to be sober for tomorrow!" She cried, "me sober, for a gig..." she looked absolutely horrified and I couldn't help but smile a little because Katie never gave herself enough credit.

"I think you'll surprise yourself darlin," Alice offered her a smile chucking me a lighter as I finished twisting the tip of the joint in my hand.

Then as if just on queue Saff poked her head through the trapdoor and hauled herself inside wriggling her way up the last of the ladder across the floor until she was at my side, chin on my shoulder watching as I lit up.

"This ones all yours," I smiled placing the second between her lips, "what did Rhys want?" I asked frowning when she sighed and shrugged and said she didn't know because she could never really understand his accent when he was drunk.

"Thanks for this though," she forced a smile lighting up herself. "He's just you know," she breathed, "He's a complete tosser isn't he, but he's a loveable one you know?" She asked hopeful that perhaps at least one of us would understand.

"Yeah," I breathed shrugging my shoulders as i lay back, "danny was always the same..."

"Danny was different though wasn't he, he cheated,"

"Saff," started Katie quickly a warning tone to her voice that I felt a little grateful for. "No need..." she sighed.

"Sorry," she mumbled pushing her hair from her sleeve, "I just think its different is all..."

"It is different," I agreed carefully, "but its not necessarily any better,"

We wasted the rest of the night in a similar fashion, sometimes we didn't need to get absolutely obliterated to have a good time, sometimes we just needed to get as high as we could, lie down listening to lemonworld or ben howard, eyes shut or staring at the ceiling talking about nothing too important.

"Have you heard from Van?" Asked Katie after the other girls had falled asleep, I shook my head slowly.

"Not for a few days why?"

"Benji never calls..."

"Maybe its just the way he is..." I said with a soft smirk, "katie, you never call, or reply to messages, or answer the phone, or switch it on... if he never calls, you're perfect for one another aren't yous," I teased drawing a giggle from her lips as I too decided to quit it for the evening and wander back downstairs to my own bed, where I found my own phone lit up with a message.

See you tomorrow