Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Fliss

"So," I began, the four of us all stood in a little huddle outside the venue, "the beginning of the end of a very bad run," i said with a mischievous smile, "pinkies out..." i said holding mine out to them, grinning when Saffy offered hers and then Jazz and then Katie and the four of us struggled to lock our little fingers in a fourway pinky promise.

"Take care of yous," smiled Saffy, her optimism almost surprising me.

I had expected her to falter, though she never had before. I was expecting the last little shred of feeling shared between her and Bondy to have shaken her a little sorry but it hadn't and she'd been smiling the whole day. The whole way to the venue, playing silly country songs on her guitar in the back of the van.

She was our little sundance kid and it seemed that nothing in this world could shake her. Not even returning to the scene of the crime. Not even smiling and laughing with Matty after everything he'd done. I probably couldn't have laughed it off in the same way, though I still hadn't decided whether that was a good thing or not.

We had an hour or so before we went on and I could sense the nerves bristling in between us. Kitty was her usual cheek chewing self, but today even Jazz was dying to dissappear outside for a smoke.
So Saffy rolled a joint or two and we wandered outside to get stoned and when we came back we sat around in a lazy, easy state whilst me and her picked at our guitars and played silly songs the way that we used to in our back garden in the summer when it was easier to make things up.

"We all live in a boat of cheddar cheese a boat of cheddar cheese a boat of cheddar cheese," we giggled back and fourth each of her trying to come up with something weirder, something sillier. But Saffy had been hanging out with Bondy for too long and in the end a song about a game of concers getting too intense that one was hit so hard it rematerialised in Liam Gallaghers breakfast soup gave her the winning line.

"Yous are weird do you know that..." chuckled George in the doorway, he smelt fresh and dank and the scent of weed followed him in as he wandered over to sit with us.

"Youre the weird one," mumbled Saff, "for not laughing..." she flashed him a smile and I wondered whether for a moment she had faltered. Whether for a moment she'd shied away and let her discomfort shine through like a bruise. But if she had no one else seemed to notice.

"Are you lookin forward to tonight?" he asked as if she hadn't said anything. It was strange because it felt like he was avoiding asking any real questions. None of them had asked how she was, how she felt, what had happened in the end at the hospital and what she'd spent the last two days doing at the hotel with the lads.

I wondered why George was avoiding it now? Was it because he felt uncomfortable or because he didn't want to make us shift with discomfort and curdle just before we went on. Mind you if he'd wanted to ask he'd had all day.

I flashed him a smile and spoke up.

"Course we are, its gonna be class," I grinned, "me and Kitty have been practicin harmonies on a new song for the last two days," i said, only saying it to watch him squirm which was unlike me. Blame it on my protective streak because I'd always felt sensitive about our Saffy and I was protective over all of my mates. I might have always been treated like the baby of the group, but they were all my babies and I wasn't going to let anyone treat them the way these lads had. Not without firing a few warning shots and stark reminders.

"Yeah well even you're weird little rematerialisation soup song sounds divine so..." he smirked hugging his knees to his chest and turning to Saffy with his temply resting on his legs. He was turned away from us and so I didn't see the softness in his eyes when he said it, but I heard it in his voice and I felt a little better knowing one of them had the heart to say something.