Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Fliss

"Imagine theres no tories, its easy if you try... No one likes boris Johnson, he makes me want to die..." i sang softly, melodramatic as you like into the microphone, making the eyes at Saffy trying to get her to join in on her microphone but her eyes weren't lit up like they usually were during our stupid soundcheck serenades and I was beginning to feel a little saddened by her sad eyes myself.

She was the kind of sad you didn't even notice at first. I wondered how long it had taken me to notice. How long she'd been feeling that kind of low before I'd thought to try for a smile and wound up with nothing.

"Imagine theres no brexit," she smirked but even her smirk was forced and when she tried to think of another line she hesitated. Usually she was the one who made us laugh with something crazy sounding but today she was preoccupied and I was certain the reason why. "It isn't hard to do," she bit her lip, eyes darting to her periphery, "no one likes boris johnson, and im gonna miss the EU," she shrugged  trying for a sad little riff on her guitar before she gave up, announcing her departure for a ciggy and an EU themed sobbathon.

"Any last minute adjustments to the set girl?" asked Alex catching me and Katie as we too wandered back into the green room to gather our belongings and practic a couple of tricky harmonies.

"Depends what our Saff wants to do," i shrugged and the smile Alex returned was tight, eye roll accompaniment and all.

"It'll be a surprise then you're sayin?"

"you love our surprises," i shot a wink and lit up my cigarette two seconds too soon to remember the fire alarms above our head. "oh fuck," i mumbled stubbing it out almost instantly but it was too late and the alarms started ringing before we had the chance to run.

"For fuck sake," he groaned through a grin shaking his head when I grabbed his hand and we darted away from the scene of the crime giggling away.

"You're a fuckin liability," he chuckled, out of breath, where we leant up against the wall outside still smiling wide, both our hearts racing.

"I don't have the lungs for them escapes no more," i smiled hands above my head trying to get my breath back only to light up a cig moments later.

"Not quite as fit as we were in school ey,"

"Speak for yourself," i sniggered nudging him away with my elbow before letting out a sigh, one of those half way sighs somewhere between relief and despair.

"Saffy windin you up as much as she's windin me?" Alex raised his brow and stepped closer to talk a little quieter.
I smirked and nodded my head.

"She'll work it out," i said hoping I was right but not believing myself for a second. I'd always had faith in Saffron but lately she was beginning to waver my confidence. Perhaps she was going through more than we realised, perhaps it all felt a little too much for her. I couldn't have blamed her, i knew that really.

Still when Van called that evening when we were all waiting to go on and I was trying to get the three of us to work through our harmonies and get something half decent out of Saffron and her whistful shrugging shoulders, when he asked what was going on, it was Saffy I told him about first. And it was my despair at the situation which seeped through.

"Please for the love of god Felicity..." he groaned down the line to me. I smirked picturing him, head tipped back against a wall, cig between his teeth as he pushed his hand through his hair, eyes squeezed shut, all my despair on his features.

"Hello to you to darlin," i rolled my eyes with a small smile. As affectionate as I could be when he was wingeing down the line to me about our best friends.