Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Fliss

I stood hesitant and waiting with bated breath alone for Van, expecting him to say something or, at the very least jump out at me in the name of some waster practical joke. But he didn't.

The longer I stood there with my heals sinking into the mud, hugging myself against the cold as the winter breeze rustled the leaves and left an eery chill in the air, the more alone I felt.

"Van?" i hissed quietly, only raising my voice a little more when i recieved no reply. "Van?" i asked again a little louder, trying my best to peer around the corner, not entirely sure what I was so nervous to see.

I dared a glance over my shoulder, strained my ears to hear but it was too dark and the night was thick with silence.

"Fuck sake," i mumbled taking a deep breath, eyes squeezed shut momentarily as I decided to follow him into the dark.

For a moment i felt my whoke body brace itself against the impending doom I'd convinced myself awaited me around the corner, and in the next I was overwhelmed, heart in my mouth as the night lit up with all sorts of garden party fairy lights and all my friends grinning and laughing and throwing their arms around me in the tightest, most gleeful of hugs.

"Happy Birthday!" cried Katie, Saffy and all the lads, Rudy, Jazz and Gerren too.

"Fucking hell," i gasped barely able to breath, barely able to hide my surprise, or play the shock off all cool like. "jesus on ice," i struggled to speak in full sentences as I stumbled from hug to hug, almost in shock because i really had written my birthday off.

"happy birthday babygirl," Van hummed into my ear pulling me in for a hug and a forhead kiss with a beaming grin.

"Was this your idea?" i giggled up at him and he surprised me when he smirked almost shyly and shook his head.

"It was a... Joint effort," he said flashing Saffron a smile.

"Oh my god Saffy as if yous were all just in on it, i canna believe yous!" i giggled gleeful as you like, "so whats the craic do we just get a party here or?"

"We spoke to Tim on security, our new G and we're cool to stay here as long as we want as long as they don't find us passed out in the grass tomorrow morning," giggled Saffron joining in with Kittys Streets impression.

"lets get fucked up with the boys!!" grinned Katie producing a bottle of Tequila from behind her back.

We didn't have any mixer and we didn't have any beers, and with no dancefloor and no discoball the birthday party of a century quickly shaped up to be the 11 of us sitting and dancing around in the center of a maze to 90s classics.

"bet yous were only just being born when this was out," teased Larry when Bondy and Van were lip syncing and air guitaring away to Its Getting Better Man. I flashed him a grin back, feeling small when i shrugged my shoulders, drew in half a drag on my joint and told him that I wasn't even sure I'd been born then, with smoke escaping through my teeth in some strange cheshire cat smile.

"Fuckin hell you really are a baby aren't you," he laughed then clapping his hands together in delight as if it were hilarious and I suppose it sort of was.

At least to me it still felt ridiculous that i was spending my 18th, waved, in the middle of a maze with Van and the lads. That I was only 18 and my life seemed to feel like it was all beginning to fall into place.

We were dancing around all Strictly Come Dancing to Tiffany, dramatically acting out the lyrics when I noticed Saffron and Bondy, hesitating around eachother more than usual. The two of then shying away from the others touch almost awkward in a way they'd never been before.