Love...Thy Will Be Done

Chapter 7 - Never Saw It Coming

Prince's POV

Our lips danced around one another, but never touched. Our breath intertwined over my impatient warm lips waiting for her permission. While I waited restlessly eager to prove to her there was something between us.

"Prince...I..."

It felt wonderful to hear her say my name. My lips brushed up against her cheek as I heard a small gasp escape her slightly parted lips. Her soft, smooth skin was cool against my burning lips. As I barely arrived to graze the corner of her mouth, she hesitated and eventually pulled back.

With tears in her eyes she whispered, "I'm so sorry Prince. I can't do this." She left the sofa. My mouth was gaping open. "Allie it's a kiss." She grabbed her scrubs and made her way down the hall to the stairs. Exiting the elevator, I saw that she was in the bathroom by the front door.

As the bathroom door slid open, I noticed she had changed back into her scrubs and handed me my shirt. Very quietly, with welling eyes she said, "I'm so sorry, as much as I want to catch up to where you are, I'm too afraid to make the leap."

"Allie, it's just a kiss."

Faintly, "That's just it Prince...it's not 'just a kiss' for me. Maybe it's because you've been with a lot of women and that's why something that is so important to me has become 'just a kiss' to you. It's old hat, trite, boring. As much as I'm tempted by you I..."

Upset because she twisted my words, "I do not see kissing you as trite, boring or an old fedora hat...whatever you said. I admit it, I'm searching for the love of my life because I've never felt loved my entire life." As soon as my admittance was out of my mouth, a sense of relief left me...I had vocalized my truth after all of these years. Two failed marriages, cleaning my house of friends and associates...knowing I needed to surround myself with people of higher moral quality. "I've never felt loved Allie...like a forever love. Don't you ever want to feel loved Allie? You must have had a much more stable family life than I did so..."

Leaning on the reception desk she calmly said, "You don't know anything about my family. My zealot father would rather call me a whore and slap me around for allowing a boy to drive me home from school than give me a hug. Please don't pretend to know about my childhood...or my past experiences with men."

"I want to know. Let me in. Resting my cane against the desk I rubbed her shoulders and whispered, "You don't talk to me like all you want to be is friends. You wouldn't bite your lip when I'm this close to you...like you're doing right now. You wouldn't lay on my shoulder like you did upstairs and tell me that you love how I look at you. You wouldn't tell me how good I smell like you did Saturday night. That's what people say when their interested in someone. Why is this kiss is so coveted? Why does it mean so much to you to not kiss me? Tell me Allie."

A calm seemed to pass over both of us.

"Help me understand Allie, how wouldn't I be just another guy you kissed? A guy that you chose to see if there was something there to explore. Look...we're not 20 Allie. [chuckling] We're 35 and 45 years old. It would be naive of us to think that each of us didn't have a past."

Swinging her bag over her shoulder she said, "I don't need to kiss you to know that I have feelings for you."

Smiling and moving a step closer to her, "If you already know you have feelings for me, then why are you holding back?"

"A kiss only leads to other things and I...I'm just not ready to have this conversation."

Spinning away from me, she began to search the reception desk for the gate code mumbling something about why her life was so crippling. She said, "I beg of you, please open the gate for me."