Love...Thy Will Be Done

Chapter 10 - Dr. Louis Renae

Prince's POV

Allie was quiet on the drive back to Paisley. I'm not sure if it was Marcus, what happened earlier or something else, but I have enough sense to know when something isn't right. Caressing the back of her hand I asked, "You ok?"

"Yeah..."

"That sounded really convincing. Allie? Is it Marcus?"

"No, no, no...I'm just tired." 

"Well we'll be back at Paisley soon, we can go to bed."

As we headed inside, she asked, "May I still stay in one of the guest rooms?"

"Uhhh yeah...I mean sure...Allie...I'd love for you to stay with me though. I mean I did just dine on you earlier." [chuckling]

Her jaw dropped and I knew the minute it left my lips, even before I saw her reaction, it was wrong. After talking so much trash to Marcus I forgot who I was speaking to and ended up saying something so crass. "Allie that was SO not what I meant to say. I think I was just fired up from talking to Marcus that I didn't get out of that role and..."

"Is that what you thought of us being together? You dined?" She huffed and shook her head. "I guess you could have been even more vulgar, but..."

"Allie it's not like that. What I meant to say is that we were together earlier in an intimate way and well...I'd like for you to stay with me so that I can hold you. I mean we don't have to have sex or anything... I-"

She cut me off mighty quick but quietly. "I don't know Prince...could you just hold me? Or would it just lead to something more, sexual? You may see me as the biggest conquest of your life, a 35 year old virgin. I don't know a lot about sex, but one thing I know for sure...you don't put pressure someone you care about.

"Allie please let me apolog-..." 

"You say you can hold hands and just kiss...but then somehow...I end up naked and sitting on your face. Was that too vulgar for you? Probably not. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed what happened earlier...greatly. But I don't know a woman out there that would appreciate hearing the word 'dined' to describe such an intimate act between two people who supposedly care for one another. And...there again...that intimate act is more than holding hands and kissing which... [quietly] ... is clearly not enough for you.

It was such a big step for me to be that vulnerable and intimate with you. I can't believe that I threw it away with someome who has done nothing but pressure me from the beginning. I don't think you know how hard that was for me, but you would know that if you knew me. Let's be honest, the fact is...we don't know one another that well."

I know I made my own decisions...but you seem to depend an awful lot on the physical to sustain your relationship with me. I don't know if that's just you, or because you know I'm still a virgin. Either way, that's not something I'm interested in. I'm looking for someone that's easy to be with, not just looking for me to be easy."

There was a long lull after what she said.

Tears were streaming down her pretty face as she picked her bag up off the floor, kissed my cheek and said, "I want you to know that these things were difficult for me to say. It is also very hard for me to walk away from you because I really do have strong feelings for you. You made me laugh and feel free and that's something I haven't done or felt in quite some time." 

She made her way to the front door.

"Allie wait..." But she didn't wait. Unlatching the lock on the front door, she left and I knew I needed to examine what I was doing to her. If this doesn't feel right to her then there wasn't anything I was going to say in that moment that would change what she thought of me.