Drawings For Colby [A Colby Brock Fanfic]

xxxiv : I Deserve Better

His hands hastily grip onto my waist and I'm trapped, not able to move from his strength. I squirm as violently as I can, panicking more when I think about what's to come. Bringing my knees into my chest, I try to launch myself away from him but I don't get far before he readjusts his hold. My back is against his chest now and his finger nails are digging painfully into my arm.

It's not his fault.

Then who's is it, huh?

I made him do this.

I deserve this.

I deserve better.

My thoughts turn feral and unorganised when I close my eyes. All I wanted was to get away. If I had gone with Jasmine yesterday, none of this would have unfolded like it did. Well, not on me at least. A different girl. I'd never forgive myself. I need to live with this.

He continues his violation, skimming his hands roughly all over my petit figure. I take a sharp inhale of breath when his long fingers creep up under my black top.

"You like th-" but he's cut off.

"AAAHHHHHH!!" I'm pulled from my nightmare. I felt frightened all over again. My body was sweaty and my hair was a mess, the result of constant tossing and turning under my duvet. I take deep breaths, ridding my mind of the horrible images of Connor.

I have nothing to do with him anymore.

I grab my cellphone from my nightstand. 3:43am. Great.

I also see a text from Colby sent at 1:20am. What is he doing up so late?

I click the notification and I'm taken to our text conversation. It reads,

Shared your video on my twitter. You're at 16k views! Positive response! You go girl 💁

I audibly laugh at his use of emoji. I decide I'll reply in the morning when he's probably not asleep. Seeing as my sleep is totally spoilt for tonight, I head over to my desk and open my laptop to check my YouTube.

Dang! 19,000 views on our video! That's insane, the most attention I've ever had. I see that the comment section is filled with many many posts but I scroll back up the page. Colby's right. 4,733 likes versus 191 dislikes. I definitely expected the response to be much more negative, regarding my experience with Sam and Colby fan girls, so I'm really happy.

Props to Colby for putting me in an extremely good mood right after waking up from my worst nightmare.
I still can't believe that they've come back. It's been over a month since I relived that same morbid experience in my dreams.