3.10 | Goals

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Posted: July 2017 | Edited: February 6th, 2019

| . . . C H A P T E R . . . . 3 . 10 - G O A L S . . . |

You know that moment of uncertainty over your actions, right before clarity? This was one of those. When I had leaned in to speak in his ear, I hadn't been too sure of my actions. I had only assumed his heart must be racing as well. To actually feel it thumping away underneath my palm only acted as an encouragement. In this moment, the clarity was of my unneeded fear.

There was no way I could ever flash back to Vivek or Shyam when I was with Arnav. There was no need for any fear or intimidation when it came to his advances. I wasn't going to have to try to stay in the moment, because when there was Arnav in front of me, I couldn't be anywhere else.

I felt everything for him.

He felt everything for me.

I captured his attention.

He captured all of mine and me just the way he would look at me, as if to tell me there was nowhere else he would rather be, no one else he'd rather be with.

I was the one for him and he was the one for me. Saying 'I love you' could be put on one end, and to be able to feel it for him and have him return that feeling could be put on a whole another spectrum.

My upper body leaned back just enough so I could gaze into his eyes. His hand resting on my neck traveled down to rest on my side, sending a shiver down my spine at his warm touch meeting my cold body.

"What are you thinking?" I asked when he just stood there without any more advance.

"How unpredictable you are."

It was good to know even I held the power to put him off his game now and again. One hand moved from my side to on top of my palm on his chest. I was sure he too would be able to feel his heat beating even though my hand was in between acting as a mediator.

I then placed the softest kiss on his lips, and I very well could tell the difference in this one. It wasn't one influenced by attraction or heat of the moment. It was pure admiration and love. It was a single kiss, but when I watched him pull back and rest his forehead against mine, his eyes still closed, it clenched my heart for some reason I couldn't fathom.

My free hand moved to caress his cheek with my thumb as the hand rested on his neck. I had initiated a kiss two day ago at the hotel, and for the second time, I initiated one now. He did kiss back, but was also quick to pull back.

I was only left to wonder for a second before he whispered, "I don't want to get carried away, Khushi."

I had to honor him for the respect he gave me. I had to let him know, "I trust you."

Exhaling, he shifted on his feet, pulling back. His eyes held a certain restlessness. "I'm not sure I deserve that. I'm a coward."

I narrowed my brows, unsure where this was coming from.

He didn't give me a chance to ask or tell him otherwise. He moved to stand beside me, as if asking silently that we resume walking. My hand dropped to my side as he continued, "Putting the blame factor aside about our past, I was unfaithful to you, Khushi."

"Arnav, I'm not counting that. I can't! We weren't really together back then."

He refused to let my words convince him, "That doesn't make a difference, Khushi."

"So what? You're going to let what we have be ruined again because of something from our past?" I questioned, needing to understand why he was bringing this up now.

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