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Chapter 65-Months without him..

I am in the middle of creating so many stories at the moment. Some fanfics, some other genres. I love that you all like my stories. I thank you :)
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Months.

Months, I went without seeing him. Two months to be exact.

No, it wasn't easy. I fell into a deep hole of darkness the day that Louis left. A hole that I couldn't escape out of. A hole that made me believe I was worthless in the world. I hated every second of it, but I knew that I couldn't help it.

For the past two months, I spent most of my time in my room. I would draw, and then I would stare out my window.

The snow has begun to fall since it was early in December, which meant I would go without Louis for Christmas. It depressed me that I wouldn't ever get to see him. That's the thing I hated most.

I spent quite a lot of my time on Groupchat, texting Niall and Liam. Zayn was busy with his brand new Fiancé.

Yes you heard me correctly, Fiancé. Zayn had proposed to Ayesha a couple weeks ago, and of course she said yes. I wasn't in the mood for a wedding, so I decided to keep quiet.

Lottie was at an art school, which was her dream. I haven't kept in contact with her since we were never close.

Zayn would come by once in awhile, as well as Liam and Gemma to check up on me. I always told them that I was fine, but they didn't believe me.

The only thing that was keeping me sane, were the nightly calls and face chats between Louis and I. It was rough going without him. Even though he was only a couple hours away by flight, he seemed to be farther.

I looked up from the window and noticed that it went from being light, to dark outside. My room seemed colder, and my body seemed weaker.

*New Text from Tommo*

Tommo: Hi baby :)

I looked at the text.

That's it.

Strange isn't it? I didn't even smile, and I didn't even feel anything. It was like my body had been numb for so long.

I quickly replied to him, hoping to start a conversation that won't bring me to tears.

Harry: hi

Tommo: what's wrong?

Harry: what makes you think there is something wrong?

Tommo: your texting tone is different..

Harry: texting tone?

Tommo: yes that's a thing lol

Harry: oh

Tommo: but really, what's wrong?

Harry: Idk..I just

Harry: idk..

Tommo: I miss you :(

Harry: yeah..

Tommo: My coach just walked in, I will text you later love <3

Harry: okay

Tommo: I love you

Harry: 🙂

Don't ask me why I didn't tell him I loved him back. Of course I did, and still do. But something inside me was blank, like I couldn't breathe or speak for myself.

I was here, but I wasn't. You know?

I put my phone back in my pocket, and turned my attention to the window.

I watched the snow fall from the trees, and stick to the cold ground below. Every snowflake different from one another caught my attention.

I guess it was good that I was getting alone time.

"Harry! Are you home?"

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

I heard the voice and completely ignored it. I stared at my reflection in the glass, and wiped my tears on my sleeve.

"Harry?" Zayn called one more time before entering the room.

I looked back and saw my best friend. He was wearing a long black coat, and high boots. He looked happy, and I didn't want to ruin that for him.

"Harry, it's freezing up here! Did you even turn on your heat?" He complained.

Didn't I? Huh, never noticed.

"Harry, you have to get out. You've been in this room for way too long. It's starting to smell like depression in here."

I shrugged and placed my hands on my forehead. Rubbing my eyes made me tired, but I didn't feel like it. I felt numb, no feelings.

"Ayesha is out with her friends tonight. It's been months buddy, you need to go out." He said walking up to me.

He sat on my bed and placed his hands on my shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere, Zayn."

"Why not? You can't just stay here."

"I don't want to."

"I don't give a shit. You are coming out whether you like it or not. It will be fun, so you need to get over yourself. Take a shower, put on some deodorant, and look presentable. We are going to grab Liam, and we are going clubbing. Just us guys this time." Zayn cheered.

"Zayn-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm starting your shower, and you can't decline." He smiled.

That was one thing about Zayn. You couldn't ever say no to him.

So no matter how I was feeling, I guess I was going clubbing.
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