(JIKOOK) Texting Story Snippets

Okay

Hoseok sighs when his boyfriend curls up against him. His limbs move, hesitantly, to encase the other in his long sleeved arms. His heart is growing heavier under Taehyung's undivided affection and he begins free falling into a self constructed pit of guilt growing deeper in his chest. "I'm really sorry if I hurt you, my babe." Hoseok mutters, teeth capturing the soft flesh on the inside of his cheek as he breathes slowly through his nose. "I got carried away with the game." He starts to explain in a slow whine. "I started something with Yoongi hyung. I know I shouldn't have asked him about you."

"I asked if you're okay." Taehyung huffs in a muffled whisper, face buried in the crook of Hoseok's neck. Hoseok smells like raspberries somehow and it's confusing, but he ignores it in the moment.

"I forgot about your feelings, so I don't think so."

"It's okay. I forgot about them, too."

Hoseok cocks his head to the side, eyebrows lifting with his surprise. His fingers tap persistently against Taehyung's thigh draped across his lap, emotions as confused as his head and contorting themselves into spiked anxiety with no real reason. "Y-you did?"

"Mm, yeah. For a bit. I'm not mad at you." Taehyung says with a tone not at all judgmental, but lacking a bit of substance. He's not angry, he isn't lying. He was only looking forward to being happily distracted from his own mind, but instead he was served a bitter opposite of his wishes. It was still a distraction, it was that much at least. 

Hoseok maintains a settled frown now. "You're not? You could be. I would understand."

"I'm not."

"Are you upset?"

"I'm upset, but it's not all your fault."

Hoseok's heart plummets, sinking down into what was once the pit of guilt in his chest. It's transforming into despair and regret faster than he can start working on repairs. "Oh, okay well," he falters on his words, letting himself writhe in self pity. "Tell me what you're upset about."

Taehyung smiles a bittersweet smile and he denies himself the chance to peek up at his friends face. "Jimin."

"Jimin?"

"He's still not okay. He's not doing good, you know."

Taehyung's words take a moment to register in Hoseok's mind. He works on understanding first what is bothering his boyfriend, what's upsetting the only person he's really thinking of right now. But Taehyung is thinking of Jimin and he's confused for moment. Jimin? Jimin has been alright, until tonight. He's been a bit stressed over not being able to attend school with them, but it was a sacrifice he wanted to make to stay. "I think he's a little intoxicated, babe. It'll wear off soon. He should sleep."

"No, he's not drunk. He's just Jimin." Taehyung pulls away from Hoseok's body, only slightly but enough to notice the man's mixed expression. He's good at reading expressions, naturally, but Hoseok's is clouded with feelings he wasn't expecting to see. Suddenly his boyfriend seems like a mystery.

Hoseok is at a loss for words. "Huh?"

"Well," Taehyung raises one eyebrow, face level with the other man as his eyes narrow on him. "It's not like we've been around to really see how he's doing lately, have we? I've been, no we've been, preoccupied. Distant. Jimin is the kind to worry when he's alone, and he's been experiencing so much time alone recently that it's amazing that this kind of thing hasn't happened already. Don't you think?"

Hoseok's eyes widen, watching the intensity grow in Taehyung's. "What kind of thing? You know, even if we've been away, he's had Jungkook to visit him every day. He has his school work so he's been keeping busy I'm sure."

"Online schooling is different, my one. Once he finishes what he's assigned for the day, he's alone and without a distraction. It's not the same."

"So that's why he's causing trouble?"

Taehyung looks offended. "He's not causing trouble. He's venting."

"Venting about what? His opinions on Namjoon's problem with commitment?"

The younger man nods eagerly. "Yes. Exactly."

Still not comprehending the point of Taehyung's analysis, Hoseok shakes his head. "Babe, what? That's really not making a whole lot of sense to me."

"Hoseok-"

"Do you mean that he's bored, so he's venting about things that aren't really his problem at all? I kind of understand that, but-"

Taehyung covers his boyfriends lips with the tips of his fingers, hushing him quickly. "Will you listen?" He waits for the wrinkles between Hoseok's eyes to soften, for the tension in the others shoulders to subside before he continues. "Okay. No, you're misunderstanding. I'm not saying that Jiminie is bored, I'm saying that he's looking to this as a way to vent, a way to distract himself from what he's thinking about all day when we're at school and he's all alone inside his head." His fingers fall away from Hoseok's lips and he sighs heavily again. "I see him doing it and I wish he wouldn't, because I understand exactly what he's doing. I'm doing it, too. Right now."

"What-"

"I'm explaining." Taehyung interrupts before he's asked again what he's talking about. "Let me." He waits now for Hoseok to cave and signal a head nod of approval. He continues. "When somebody is hurting by themselves, it's not uncommon for them to get worked up about problems that don't belong to them. He might be covering it up with Jin hyung's feelings as an excuse, and I'm sure he's truthfully concerned, but there's more than just empathy for a friend behind what he's saying. I mean, look at how he fought with Jungkookie. That was brutal, and for what? I just feel like he's not doing okay. Don't you see it now?"

Hoseok squints his eyes, trying to catch himself up on Taehyung's explanation. He wasn't ready to be concerned about Jimin again with so much going on with his boyfriend and his friends amongst his own drained emotions, but it does make sense when he thinks about it. Jimin is the type to say that he's fine, but not be really okay at all. He was under the assumption that they'd all helped him recover for the most part, Jungkook especially. It does all come together as odd after witnessing the twos argument before. "Then, if he's not okay, what's he been hiding?"

-///-

Jungkook stands up from the floor, gathering attention from his friends. He looks at Jimin and a long sigh glides through his lips. The smaller watches him more curiously than anything else. "I'm going to take a walk." Jungkook mumbles, taking in the way Jimin's eyes fill with instant concern. He chooses to ignore it, breaking their momentary eye contact and not waiting for a response. "I'll just walk around the block a couple of time. Be right back."

-///-

A/N: I want to admit that I had a tremendously hard time writing this out. Not because of its content, but because I couldn't focus on it well. I'm sorry if it's off for some reason,  I'm not in a great mental state right now.

I discovered Kpop back in 2007, a whole decade ago and since then, even after my bias group disbanded long ago (TVXQ) I've never felt such grief as I do now. SHINee stands as the only band that I've ever loved from their very start. Not even BTS I noticed from the beginning, regrettably so. But SHINee, they were introduced to me through TVXQ way back in their beginning.. and hearing of Jonghyun's passing is soul crushing. I've been in so much sorrow since I got the news of it and haven't been coping well as I'm sure so many of us are feeling the same. I didn't want to update, I don't really want to do anything as that goes. But I needed to, mostly because I know that it's healing for me in a way and I want to hope that this can be a brief distraction for anybody hurting now as well. I want to take a break and I know that it would be understood if I did. You all are wonderful, but I haven't decided just yet. Please continue sending good thoughts towards Jonghyun's family, friends, and Onew, Key, Minho and Taemin. All of our hearts are hurting for, his absence, but Jonghyun is free. Jonghyun did so well.