(JIKOOK) Texting Story Snippets

Few Days

Day one: Angry.

Jungkook's betrayed him. Jimin's stomach is twisted like a pretzel, aching, preventing him from eating a single morsel of the meal Hoseok brings to his room when he failed to join the family at the dinner table. Yet, this first day he can only recognize the emotion anger. He deletes Jungkook's number from his phone and slides the device under his bed, sound off, dead silent to him as he intends to be towards the world. His heart is in blood red shambles, sharp edges stabbing him from within at every second breath. Nobody needs to see him like this, and from past experience, they don't deserve the kind of wrath he would unjustly release upon them.

Their words wouldn't matter anyway. Jimin's lost the arms that were never supposed to let him go and the safety net of pretty words that he really thought held every promise he ever needed. The world around him turns pitch black and all he can see are the scribbles he's making into the lined notebook paper before him.

I didn't think I could hate you. I thought we had every chance, but you shouldn't make promises you can't keep. That's the cruelest form of betrayal. Lost trust is gone.

His words bleed red into the page, and a part of his anger relinquishes it's hold on his chest as the words in his head meet their paper destination. The hard thump of his heart, the way it takes the air right out of his lungs, reminds him that it's going to hurt too much whenever the anger truly subsides. He wonders if he'll die from the heartache of it, kind of hopes that he will. The page is full of angry words and painful memories that translate into regrettable mistakes before Jimin closes the cover of his notebook. The knot in his stomach feels bigger, his fingers are tight from the constant use of a pen, and his heart is defective, beating impractically, hard, as if it's punching him from within.

Jimin throws his notebook to the side of the bed and he chuckles lowly as hot tears begin to prick behind his tired eyes. Every nerve inside of his body feels as if it's on fire, burning through his blood and every bit of his patience. He shifts himself onto the floor, circling his arms around his legs at the very foot of his bed, holding onto the last bit of his sanity as he reminds himself that this was always going to happen. How long did he expect them to last, going round and round on the same roller coaster, just waiting for disaster to strike? He laughs again as the tears really start coming. This time, Jungkook isn't coming back. Jungkook isn't here.

Day two: Sorrow.

Jimin wakes up to a shadowy room. He must have fallen asleep at the foot of his bed, curled up on the carpet of his bedroom floor. He can see through his drawn curtains the top lip of the sun breaking over the trees, casting his room in its soft morning glow. It's light and warmth comforts the ache that returns to his heart as soon as consciousness awakes his senses enough to remind him that he isn't okay. Briefly, maybe something else could matter for just a little while, but before Jimin can get to his feet, the now familiar feeling of dread takes its hold once again.

This day is a long one. This day feels like it will never end.

Hoseok tries to talk to him again, letting go of his quest for answers and instead lending his shoulder to cry on. Jimin can barely look at his friend, blurred eyes so heavy and heart so tired of the pangs of hurt that plague it he doesn't have the will power to say a word. It would only make it hurt worse, but he lets Hoseok rub his back and stay with him, because maybe being alone wouldn't be a good idea.

Jimin finds some comfort leaning against his best friend, his head on the others thigh. They watch a couple movies and Hoseok brushes his hair back when he cries, telling him it's okay and that he won't leave him alone.  For the first time since his world fell apart, Jimin feels relieved.

Day 3: Hell

But, relief doesn't last long. Jimin had fallen asleep with his best friend, waking up by his side and feeling nothing but guilt. Taehyung would be sad, even if he understood the situation and the thought of that drives Jimin to ask for Hoseok to leave. He doesn't want to be alone, but his emotions swirl inside of him in such an irrational fashion he's afraid of the words he might say.

On this day, Jimin discovers how cornered and alone he really is. Everyone else is happy, what good can come from his burdensome emotions right now? Of course they love him and he couldn't ever imagine better friends to have surround him in such a time of hopeless desperation for love and care and protection, but they are all so entirely saturated with Jungkook. They love Jungkook, they know him so well know.

This realization hits Jimin like a sack of bricks right to the gut.

He can't see them the same way anymore, prior to his relationship with a man they now call a friend. He can never see Jungkook again, and for the first time since his parents forced him to attend online schooling, Jimin is so grateful. Grateful to never see Jungkook again, to move on from their clumsy and passionate relationship that was never going to make it to the places it promised to go. Jimin is grateful to see beyond the fairytale, for just a couple of moments before the fight in him crumples under the weight of his grief. Jimin can never see Jungkook again because it would be like ripping his heart out of his chest, but his friends shouldn't be held to the same standard of living. Jungkook is a good friend. He's a good person, beneath his impulsive behaviors and indecisive nature.

It wouldn't be fair to choose for his friends. It wouldn't be fair to take everything away from Jungkook, as much as his anger could consume him enough to hate the other. Jimin feels tears welling up in his eyes as he pats the soft sheets beneath him. He will always be crazy in love with Jungkook, irrationally so. He will always miss the feel of his hands on his body, the soothe of his voice and his teases and jokes. Even if he never sees Jungkook again, his face, his big eyes watching him with the most intense degree of love, could never fade from his memory.

Right here, alone in his room on day three of the worst heartache he's ever experienced yet, Jimin makes a decision he never intended to make. It feels like the only one he's got left.

And Jimin prays that it's the right one.

-///-

A/N: Time skipping will only get worse from here. I'm sorry about this, but it'll still be a sloooowwww burn for these two.

I love you guys. I'm sorry for my many absences. Stay safe and healthy everyone! Be careful and be kind to everyone! You are all so precious ❤️