Hideaway [h.s]

172

"What?" I say as Harry stays silent.

"It's nothing to be stressed about it, but I'm afraid you do have a type of personality disorder due to the blackouts and the fact you identify as your father during it." He explains to us.

"What is dissociative identity disorder?" I ask.

"It is a mental disorder characterized by at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states. It includes a loss of identity, loss referring to time, and loss self sense and consciousness. There are many things that can trigger a second personality, and in many cases it's aggression. Over 90% of people that are diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder have experience sever physical abuse in their early to mid childhoods. With your past traumas of your fathers abuse for six years, you have seemed to develop a second personality to dispose your anger, and it's through the mask of the man that scared you most in life." He explains in depth.

"I've never heard of dissociative identity disorder." Harry finally speaks.

"Well theirs different names for it. Now if you want a second opinion, we can run more tests on you that involve in-depth questioning and further MRI scans, but I am very positive in the fact that you have this condition. Just look at these CT scans." The doctor turns to the screen to see two photos of the brain that were slightly different in heat patterns from the radiation.

"To the right, we have a normal developed brain. And to the left, is your brain Mr. Styles." He points to scans.

"Now, you will notice that their are small differences to same parts of the brain. For example, your amygdala is a bit smaller then usual. Your amygdala is what processes your emotions, and the smaller it is, the more overactive becomes. It means your brain can only handle so much anger and emotion until it goes on overload. Now what gets your information to the amygdala is your hippocampus. Now commonly people with your condition, have a hyperaroused hippocampus. This means that you can misinterpret people's words to threats quicker. And when this part of the brain feels threatened, it decides whether to fight or flight. So as you see your hippocampus is more red in the radiation compared to the other developed brain, and thats because it's in fact more sensitive then normal. The cause of this can be generic, or more commonly from experiencing traumatic abuse as a child." The doctor takes us step by step through Harry's brain.

Since the moment we met I was trying to understand Harry's head, and now after all these months I was staring at a picture of it.

"Wait, genetic?" Harry asks with concern.

"Yes, this condition can be generic. But like I said, it was more commonly from early childhood abuse." The doctor restates.

"Okay but are you saying that our kid could possibly have the same condition? Blackouts and everything?" Harry grips the edge of his seat, burning his fingers into the leather.

"Well, it's a possibility but not certain. It wouldn't be something that developed until their older. And if they live a loving healthy childhood, I'm sure they will be fine. It's been slim that the genes of dissociative identity disorder gets passed on." He informs us, making me feel a bit more comfortable.

"So if we give our baby a loving childhood and life like we plan, then she should be fine and now having any of this?" I say in a bottom line, I need a straight answer.

"I can not give you a promising answer, but I can't tell you that you shouldn't be worrying about it anytime soon if it does get passed down." Dr. Warren looks at me as I place my hands on my stomach.

"What's the cure?" Harry asks.

"Sadly, their is no cure to this form of personality disorder." He says, making my heart drop. "But, your problem is your anger Mr. Styles. Your anger is what triggers your violent episodes and that's when your second personality takes over. If you don't get so angry, you can't blackout." He adds.