I Needed to, I Had to

Panic Attack [M&T]

*Kai's POV*

           I close the door behind Maria and Diego. They spent the morning with us and left when her husband called to know where she was. Jason seemed very happy to introduce me to his friend and so did Tiana. The light atmosphere became a bit heavy as Jason left us both in the living room to take nap in his room. I couldn't help but think about Jason's words. I stared at Tiana going around to clean up the mess Jason and Diego had made by playing together. She was smiling and I couldn't bring myself to kill her mood. I finally got up and went to the wooden door. Tiana ran after me and stopped my hand that was going to grab the knob. She was shaking and her eyes were wide open.

"What are you doing?

-This is where Jason's rabbit plush is, right? I'm going to go in and take it.

-You can't! You don't know what is in there!

-I know! I've seen the photos!" I yelled back at her.

               Her grasp on my arm loosened and her face changed. She looked worried and confused. She shook her head for a few seconds and then looked at me.

"Photos? What photos?

-When I was looking for you with D.O, a private detective who was friend with him came here and took photos of the inside of the room.

-Is this why the lock is broken? Is he the one who did that? To take photos?" She said upset.

"I didn't know where you were and he was trying to find any hint about your location.

-That's not a reason! This room...This is...Nobody can..." She was at lost for words.

"I'm going to enter there, take Jason's plush and clean this mess!

-No, I have to do it myself! This is the only way for me be over with these nightmares...But I'm not ready." She said.

              I take the opportunity of her being confused to shake her hand off and open the room door. I searched for a switch on the wall and found it quickly. Tiana tried to stop me from turning the light on but I did anyway. It was far more sickening than looking at a photo. The smell was not as strong as I expected but it was still nauseated and the mess in the room was spectacular. Everything was like the photos but more real and more painful. The tie, the belt, the clock, the broken glass,  books and blood stains, everything was there right before my eyes and I felt like throwing up but I put on a strong face and turned to Tiana who was in the doorframe. She was standing there, staring at the bed, her eyes wide open, shaking.

"Stop...stop it...please." She said putting her hands against her ears.

"It hurts...please..."  She repeated before her legs gave up.

              I went to her and crouched down to her level. She wasn't even looking at me, it was as if she wasn't seeing me. She suddenly let go of her head and her stare moved to the corner of the room where the biggest blood stain was, with the half brown blanket resting there. Tears started to flood down her face and she looked at herself with a panicked stare.