Walls Of Hearts

Chapter 27

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Unknown: I wonder if you know or remember or would recognise me?

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Life is much like a rollercoaster, where there are times when you go fast or slow, up or down. The highs represent happiness and the lows represent the sadness and the middle, between the high and the low when you're going down and feel like you've lost control of anything is the transition. That's where the thrill is yet also the fear. The fear that's caused due to not being in control of your situation.

That, for me, struck with me the most and whilst that could be because I'm not fond of rollercoasters so that feeling was unforgettable, I also think it was because it was that particular emotion that led to my worst panic attacks.

Throughout the two weeks when I was on tour with the others, I'd experienced the value of friendship and also how it felt to just have a huge group of people that expressed their support for you. And so, the two weeks where I was in London, alone, was definitely a low. The first week, I was beyond afraid when it came to things like going out, in case I'd be met with fans that I didn't yet feel all too comfortable to interact with but also if there were paparazzi following. I was just always paranoid.

Particularly after the second text I'd gotten from the unknown number. It was the same day as Harry and the others left for tour and it was an extremely simple text. Nothing complicated since it was just a mere warning, like previously. I refrained from telling Harry since I knew he had so many other stresses on his mind before he had to deal with mine.

Unknown: Harry's gone now. Are you afraid yet?

But like always, I pushed that issue to the back of my mind so that I didn't have to deal with it. What better than to avoid issues the way I always did. They do say ignorance is bliss.

Although, I did of course know that that wasn't the most healthiest thing to do and neither was it what I should be doing. But I didn't want to burden anyone else with my issues. I also didn't want to stress myself out, thinking about it when I convinced myself that there was nothing that could be done about it anyway.

Harry called every night even though he should have been using the time to sleep. He also sent me pictures he would have taken that night and I'd learnt that he had a strong passion in photography. He would take pictures of the crowd, of the stage before it was ready or after they'd just used it and it was a state. I understood that he had a very strong creative flare that didn't just reside with singing or song-writing.

The second week went much better. I didn't hear from the anonymous texter and I also got to spend a lot more time with Gemma. One say, I went over to her's and we'd both gone shopping until Michael picked us up that evening and we had dinner together. Gemma then encouraged me to stay over and despite insisting that I was fine and could go back to Harry's, she stayed firm on her point. When she'd realised just how stubborn I was, she grunted and called Harry instead.

"Jasmine, just stay over." Harry had agreed with Gemma and it caused Gemma to smirk.

"I told you." Gemma replied and even though I told Harry reasons why I couldn't, they all joined forces, including Michael, and tried to convince me to listen. Well, 'convince' is a light word to describe how they essentially coerced me.

But we had fun regardless. And I was glad I did stay. We went out for breakfast and then went to a local park to just chill and snack, whilst Michael had gone to work.