Walls Of Hearts

Chapter 35

You guys are going to hate me for this...

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Unknown: Now that you're alone, I can send more texts to you. So you're looking for jobs, huh? Good luck!

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Over the next few days, I was beginning to hear back from the jobs I'd applied to and whilst I was beyond excited about it, each day just built up my anxiety.

And it didn't help that I officially had a stalker on my case, not just an anonymous texter sitting on his or her couch as they tried to text me to get me worked up. An actual stalker that knew what time I went to get breakfast, that knew my order and also knew my everyday whereabouts that included basic trips to the Tesco down the road and also the various days I went out with either Eleanor, Sophia or Gemma. I would get atleast five texts a day from this person but if I didn't, I certainly got a text a day for sure. And while that didn't sound all too bad, to have that everyday was the most stressful thing ever. I didn't feel safe any longer when I went outside.

Unknown: Good choice, I like Starbucks as well, Jasmine was the text that stopped me from going out for breakfast every morning.

Unknown: Talk to the fans, would you? Instead of just awkwardly taking pictures with them and that too only when they ask was the text that got me paranoid every time I bumped into some of the most loveliest fans on the road as I went about my day.

Unknown: Are you sure you're dressing for the weather correctly? What if people judge you for wearing warm clothes in the most amazing weather we've been having lately? was the text that made me think about my outfit about a million times before I left the house for anything.

Unknown: You've been going to the shops a lot lately. Are you sure Harry doesn't mind you using his money that often? was the text that stopped my random Tesco trips whenever I was in a mood for snacking.

Unknown: Your hair pulled in a ponytail like you wore today shows your face shape way too much was the text I received the most for some reason and it was always written in a different way with the same meaning and it was what led me to ignore my favourite way of doing my hair, in a ponytail.

Unknown: Imagine something happens to you whilst you're outside, all on your own. You know the fans don't like you; the paparazzi on the other hand love you. Wrong way around, unfortunately. Either can do anything. And I'm sure Harry won't care. I'm sure nobody would was the text that stopped me from leaving the house as often as I did.

Unknown: You're letting your hair down, you're not going for your nine o'clock Starbucks anymore, you're not getting Doritos every other day. I know you're reading. You're not even going out anymore was the text that made me want to rip my hair out and throw my phone across the room.

But despite having received so many of these kind of texts since I'd gotten back, there was one that scared me the most and it was the most recent one.

Unknown: You're a fool for thinking that staying at home is a solution was the last text I'd received and that was about three days ago. Since then, I got nothing. It was just eerily silent after that.

It was a ironic to think that nearly everything this person was saying, despite being so far away, had an impact on my mental health. They weren't even physically in front of me and nor were they directly talking to me. I didn't know who this person was, how they sounded or anything at all about them. But one thing I knew was that their words resembled my mind on a typical day. It was scary to think that when somebody else was saying these things to me, I was furious but I said these things to myself on a daily basis and I validated doing it. It made sense to constantly be at my neck. It was crazy how this person acted like the second person in my mind and it felt almost as though that second voice in my head was just texting me instead.