Walls Of Hearts

Chapter 85

look who's here!! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! please vote and comment if you like the chapter!! you have no idea how happy it makes me! :D

Irmina xx

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Trigger warning: mentions of eating and eating disorders in this chapter. I'll signify where if you want to skip it because you're triggered.

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Unknown: Quit trying to be more clever than I am; it'll never work.

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The next few days were easier than the days that followed those and it was purely because Eleanor was still at my place. And when she was gone, it suddenly became so much harder.

I wanted to drop her off, so the two of us got in her car together whilst Anthony was tailing behind us in my car. I looked at Eleanor as she was driving, keeping her attention on the road and felt bad for her as I realised it wasn't only going to be hard on me, but also her.

"You promise me you'll call if there's anything you're ever worried about?" I asked her, earning her to look at me briefly. She nodded her head as if the answer were obvious but it wasn't. It was harder than that because I knew she was exactly like me and would only ever turn to people's help at the end before trying her hardest to work things out on her own. It was why the two of us got on so well. Apart from our humour, obviously.

"As long as you do." Eleanor made a deal and I accepted with a smile and a short nod of my head.

Anthony and I had also become closer friends in that time as I wanted some kind of company and it was amazing how we went from strangers to him being my security guard and now we were quite good friends. I'm sure it wasn't the most helpful thing for his job but luckily the minute anybody else was around us, Anthony knew not to mess around and was super professional. And I was glad then, to have a friend. I did feel quite lonely over time on my own but to be friends with Anthony meant that I wasn't so lonely anymore and I was safe at the same time.

I still slept in the living room though, never feeling comfortable to actually go upstairs and sleep there at night. I'd also brought down some clothes and a makeup bag with me and that way the house was just the ground floor for me and I wasn't so overwhelmed anymore with having three huge floors.

It was also a lot nicer in terms of talking to Harry now. I spoke to him every day and we had a good laugh every so often even despite his very busy schedule. I was glad that we were able to make time for even a five-minute conversation each day regardless of our schedules. It was comforting to know that even if he was all the way miles away, he was still here.

And Harry needed my support quite a bit over those next few days because there were a lot of arguments between the band and their management since they'd heard about the boys' plans to either part ways or split for a while.

"The boys are actually quite insistent on it. I don't know how they changed their minds but they somehow did." Harry told me over Skype one evening. It was dawn for him and he was tired but told me he didn't care and had a busy day packed ahead and wanted to get some songwriting done anyway. So he had his leather-bound notebook and a pen as he sat back and tried to write as he spoke to me. "It seems like they want it and they're not making the decision under pressure."

"All of them?" I'd asked and he nodded his head.

"Niall was upset though. He told me the other day he wished that he didn't have to agree but he knew he needed to. We all need this break, J." He looked at me through the laptop and I grimaced, feeling bad for them. "So between us, things are okay. A little bumpy every so often but still okay. But apparently, someone in our crew heard us talking about it and told Simon, and Simon's pissed for two reasons - he doesn't want this at all and because he said we were being irresponsible for talking about these things whilst people were around us."