Winter's Widow

Chapter 6

Natasha's pov:

All today, Bucky has been in his "Winter Soldier" mood. We think that it's a side effect from his Winter Soldier side. He will express little to no emotion throughout the day, and will rarely speak. He will growl sometimes, when he is like this. When he is like this, he only responds to "Soldier". He doesn't seem to be interested in the same things he would be as Bucky Barnes. He still seems to remember us, he just acts like how he would as the Winter Soldier. This usually happens at least once a month, sometimes it lasts for up to 12 days. I counted. This isn't really a problem, as he doesn't go off killing people when this happens. I decide that maybe asking him to hang out with me again today may not be the brightest idea. I'll just hang out by myself today. Maybe I'll drop by Clint's room if I get lonely, but I'll probably just be in my room on my computer all day. I don't really mind being alone. It's what I was taught in the red room. To survive alone.

I was just finishing up some work on my computer when I turned to my left and almost fell out of my chair, my gun pointed at the intruder's chest. Nobody ever enters my room without knocking first, so I was taken by surprise. I overreacted a bit. I was breathing heavy, heart pounding, eyes wide at the unexpected guest. Steel blue eyes stared down at me, partly covered by long brown hair. The tall dark figure showed no emotion, and didn't move a muscle. I think I was right to be scared. Anyone would be, staring face to face with the most terrifying person you know. I lower my gun and set it back on the desk. I even scratched myself on the corner of the desk going to reach for the gun so fast. I'm slightly embarrassed, of the way I overreacted like that.

He took a couple steps forward, so that he was standing right in front of me. We locked eyes. He's challenging me. I stood up out of my chair, to challenge him in return. We were mere inches apart. Looking up at the cold metallic eyes, I was intimidated, but I didn't flinch. I couldn't flinch. This is how you have to treat the Winter Soldier. You need to let him know who's boss. That would be me in this situation. To him, it's a game of dominance. You need to let him know from the start who's in charge, and that's me. I'm staring up at him with burning green eyes, and it's only getting harder. His eyes penetrate my own like knives. All I see when I look into his eyes is cold, steel, death. I can almost see the ash, the gunpowder, the blood, the death. I can hear the screams of his past victims ringing in my ears. He's making this difficult.

He says no. He wants to be in control of the situation. He wants to be the boss right now. I can't let him. I wont let him. Establishing the alpha is the most important thing to remember when the Winter Soldier is in your vicinity. Now, it's a game of who breaks eye contact first.

And that would be me. Of course, I looked away. Why? I don't know. Intimidation? Maybe. I couldn't do it anymore. It hurts, staring into the eyes of death. But now, I suffer the consequences. Now, he thinks he's in charge. He makes the rules now. He's the new alpha. His game, his rules. He reaches out his metal hand and starts toying with my hair. I don't really have a choice but to let him, now. I lost the game. I looked away. Anything he does is fair game. He grabs me by the waist with his other hand and pulls me a bit closer; holding me there. It's starting to piss me off. I hate it when he does this. - That's a lie. Part of me is saying 'This is ok. I like this. Please, continue.'

He does this sorta thing often. Curling my hair around his fingers. He seems so concentrated on it; like its fascinating to him. His face still shows no emotion, though. I need Steve to get him outta here. Standing still, I carefully reach for my phone so that he doesn't notice.

He notices.

Once again we are staring each other in the eyes. He says no. He says put your arm down. I slowly rest my arm back at my side, and he continues playing with my hair. It's amazing that he already knew what I was doing. He knew I was going to text Steve. I guess it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I forgot, Steve isn't here. Nobody is, except for me and Bucky. While I got lost in thought again, I didn't even realize he stopped playing with my hair, and was staring at my arm. For a moment I was confused, then I realized he was staring at the scratch on my forearm. I didn't realize that it had started bleeding either. After staring a few moments longer, he left the room. Finally. Now I can get back to what I was doing... What was I doing?

Before I can do anything he comes back in with a band aid. It was really unnecessary, but I wasn't going to challenge him again. He pushes me back and I fall on the bed. I sit up and he goes to put it on me.

"I can put that on myself." I told him.

But there was no response. He just applied the band aid anyway. Once finished, he looks down at me again. I push him back a little and I stand up. As soon as I stood up, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder like I was nothing. As much as I hated it, I wasn't going to defy him. He's the alpha now, and defying him would just result in another staring contest that I would most definitely lose.This is why losing that staring contest was a mistake. Now he thinks he can do whatever he wants. He walked over to the open corner and set me down.

He started growling. Uh oh.

I back up a few steps, but I back into the wall. This is why he put me in the corner.

As he starts leaning in, he wraps his right hand around my waist and pulls me in for a kiss. I try to defy for a moment, but give in and I wrap my arms around his neck. He has his metal arm on the wall for support. I stand on my toes, so the he doesn't have to lean over as much. I guess I was moving around too much, because he pressed me against the wall. He's growling again. I can feel the rumble in his chest. It's hard to think that he's an assassin, at times like this. I don't know what's happening right now, or what our relationship is...

But I like it.