Winter's Widow

Chapter 78: Мой паук в темноте

Hey guys! Regarding the last chapter, I've noticed a few of you wanted that smutty ending and so did I. I have been considering doing another fic just like this, but it's only smut. Do you guys want that? Should I make a Winter's Widow smut ver? I've got some good ideas... I could make that fic tie in with this one too. Vote and comment if you would read that!

Enjoy the chapter ;)

Natasha's pov:

I'm in my Black Widow suit right now, curled in a ball hidden in my closet. Why? I'm not sure, but I feel like I need to. Nobody can question me more than I am questioning myself right now. I'm trying not to cry, but I'm tearing up a little. The world around me is fading into darkness as the spider inside of me takes over. I'm clutching my knife tightly to me. My attempts to stop shaking are failing. The lights in the room are all off, leaving me alone and isolated in the dark. Just the way it always should be. I curl up tighter and bury my face to shut the world out. I just want to stop existing. I need to feel blood on my hands. I lean into the corner and put my hands over my head. Maybe if I just stay like this, I'll disappear. I want someone to turn me to dust and blow me away. People will forget about me. We can all just move on. I'm shaking and twitching uncontrollably. It wont stop. I wont stop. I can't stop. Leave me alone, let me rest. Please. I don't want to be here.

I hear the closet door sliding, but decide to ignore it. I just need to focus on disappearing. I need to leave this place. Someone delete me. End my suffering.

When I feel something touch me, I flip. I shove the hand away and take a defensive position all in a second. I put my leg between me and the intruder, and hide my face in my arms. I'm shaking more now. When they put their hand on my arm, I frantically disappear further into the corner. Like a frightened spider when you touch it's web. Limited by the walls of the small closet, I can't retreat any more. I can only curl up more. I feel them rubbing my arm comfortingly.

"Тишина, маленький красный." The man hums in a raspy voice.

My shaking dies down a little.

He continues to rub my arm, trying to calm me down. Eventually, the shaking comes to an almost complete end. He tries to pull me out of the closet as carefully and gently as possible, enough so that he can pick me up. Once I'm close enough, he picks me up and holds me to his chest. I'm still kinda curled up. He has one arm supporting me back and the other under my thighs holding me up. He walks slowly to the bed and sits down, setting me on his lap. He tries to gently unravel my balled figure. He pulls my legs away from my body. He grabs both of my hands when he notices that I'm digging my nails into my arms. He holds both of my hands with his left, and keeps his right arm wrapped around me. I try desperately to pull my hands up to my face, so I can hide again, but he holds my hands away. I lean my head down so I can bring my face to my arms. My shaking increased a little. He tries his best to calm me down, and it works little by little. He can tell too, since my shaking is slowly dying down.

"успокойся, мой красивый паук." He purrs.

After a few minutes, my shaking has ceased. He keeps me pressed tightly to his chest. I lean into him, feeling safer already. He wraps his other arm around me too, releasing my hands. He buries his face in my hair to take in the scent. He rubs my arm in attempts to keep me calm. It's working.

"What happened?" He asks in a raspy voice.

"...I don't know." I answer.

"Yes you do. What happened?" He asks again.

When I don't respond at first, he pulls away and looks me in the eyes. He's intimidating. He's staring me down, trying to get an answer.

"Natalia, what happened?" He presses.

"I... I don't know." I say again.

"Why are you lying to me." He narrows his eyes.

My heart rate picks up. I start shaking again, ever so slightly. My breathing shallow.

"I have to go-" I hop off his lap, but he pulls me right back.

"No you don't. Stop trying to run away. What's wrong? Why are you in your suit?" He asks again.

"Nothing. No reason. I'm fine. How did you know I was in the closet?" I huff.

"Because I know you, Natalia. I knew something was wrong when I walked into a dark empty room, and you were nowhere in sight. Nobody has seen you since last night, so that was already a huge red flag. You're known for hiding and running away, so I thought you were gone. I hear your shuffling from in the closet." He holds me tighter on his lap, so I don't escape again.

"...I have to go. I was supposed to meet Clint a couple minutes ago." I try to escape his grasp again, but to no avail.

"If it weren't for me, you'd still be crying in the closet. Now, I want you to tell me why you were crying in the closet." He pushes.

"I-"

"I'm not taking 'I don't know' for an answer, Natalia. Перестаньте скрываться." He narrows his eyes.

"...I got scared. No- I didn't- That's not what I meant. I just-"

"Scared? Of what?" He asks.

"I- I didn't get scared. I used the wrong word. I just-"

"It's not a crime to get scared, Natalia. Nobody thinks you're weak, trust me." He reassures me.

"I... I... I'm not scared! You know I don't do that!" I snap.

"Sure thing doe." He presses me up to his chest again.

"J-James! How pathetic do you think I am?" I snap again.

"You're not pathetic. That's why you're lying to me. Again, Natalia." He stresses the 'again'.

"I'm not-... I'm fine now." I sigh and finally relax.

He knows how to fix me right up. He starts rubbing my arm again. His hand is so warm. I haven't felt physical contact with another human being for a while now. Being in his presence feels electric. His touch is sending my heart racing, and I think he noticed that. He pulls me a little closer, and I cross my arms uncomfortably. He slides his right hand up my sleeve a little so he can feel my shoulder. His left hand finds my arms and uncrosses them. My heart beats faster with every second. I think my nervousness is just powering him more.

"You ok, Natalia?"

"Now that you're here, yes."

Regarding that line in the first paragraph: Fuck you and I'm not sorry.

~anonymous00022 ;)