Winter's Widow

Chapter 38

Sorry for the short chapter. I got a little lazy with this one. Everything will be back to normal next chapter, so don't worry.

Natasha's pov:

I wake up in Bucky's arms. He's leaning back against the headboard and I'm lying on his chest. I try to crawl out of his lap without waking him, and fail.

"Where are you going?" He wraps his arms tighter around me.

"I don't know." I mumble, still angry at him for the way he acted.

"Then stay." He relaxes again.

"I have to go." I say.

"Go where?" He asks.

"I don't know, but I can't stay here."

"I don't trust you going out alone." He says monotone.

"I can't look at anyone right now. I can't see them. Not now..." My eyes get watery.

"Shhh. Nobody blames you. It's ok. We're going to help you. Don't you worry about a thing princess." He purrs.

I try to resist his hug, and he takes notice of that. He squeezes me tighter, and I continue to push away. He's clearly confused.

"What's wrong with you?" He asks.

"Well, I'm not too fond of you at the moment." I furrow my brows.

"Why?" He cocks his head to the side.

"You were acting ridiculous yesterday." I answer.

"Well, you can't really blame me. I almost lost you to your own mind." He tucks some of my hair behind my ear "I almost lost you to demons only you can hear."

Sad blue eyes stare through me. He pulls me closer to him.

"I'm sorry..." I lay my head on his chest.

"It's ok. You just scared us, that's all. Nobody's mad at you." He tries to calm me down.

"Don't do that shit again though. Scared the living shit outta me. I almost lost you last night." He whispers more seriously, burying his face in my hair to take in the cherry blossom scent.

After a short pause, I had to confirm my suspicion.

"Did Clint climb through the vents to get in here?" I ask.

"Yes. We started taking turns watching you." He answers.

"I know. I woke up with him next to me before I fell asleep again." I say.

"Normally, I'd beat the shit outta him. This was a special occasion." He smiles.

"I know you would." I smile back.

...

Some time passes.

"Natalia."

"Buck?"

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Of course. Why?" I ask.

"Everything that's happened recently..." His pretty blue eyes trail to the floor and he squeezes me tighter.

"I'm fine." I smile so he thinks it's sincere.

"I'm bored, though." I complain.

I slip out of his arms and hop off the bed.

"I'm going out. Wanna come?" I ask.

"What? Now? Don't you think you should stay home for a little?" He asks with his sad hobo gaze.

"No, I'm fine. Let's go!" I try pull him off the bed with my words.

"Nat..." He dons a pained expression.

"I could use some fresh air, Barnes." I smile, reaching out my hand.

He smiles and reluctantly takes my hand. I pull him up and head out the bedroom door. We hop in the elevator with little trouble from the others, and head down. I guess they felt that I would be safe with Sergeant Barnes.

"You seem cheerful today..." He expects an answer as to why.

"Well, yesterday got a lot off of my mind." I answer simply, keeping my facade.

"How?" He asks, concerned.

"Well, yesterday I got a lot of support from you guys. I'm actually kind of glad Clint stopped me..." I trail off, lying.

"We're all glad as hell that he stopped you." He frowns slightly suspiciously. I think he's onto me.

"Maybe there is a way to take care of my Hydra situation that doesn't involve suicide..." I mumble.

"Yeah, there is. It's called 'asking for fucking help,' Natasha." He snaps and I feel his steel gaze burning a hole through my thick skull.

"I have my doubts, Serge." The elevator opens and we're on the bottom floor.

I stroll out the door and down the sidewalk, James tailing behind.

"So no more suicide attempts, right?" He asks, silently demanding an agreement.

"Right. Probably not." I confirm.

"Nuh uh. I need a promise." He orders, catching up to me and staying at my right side.

"No. I'll try not to, though, if that makes you happy." I compromise.

"It makes me happier, but I'm not satisfied." He says.

"Well, that's as good as it's gonna get." I say.

He just releases an exasperated sigh.

"I wont let you. I'll stop you." He says.

"Ok." I answer his warning simply.

"Nat, I'm very fond of you, and I'm not going to let you go. Don't fight these demons alone. Please." He says.

I smile at his words. He's staring down with frosted silver eyes. Eyes that wont let you say no. He's begging me. It's adorable. I've always loved his puppy dog eyes.

"Ok." I give in to the silent begging.

"Promise me. Natasha, I need a promise." He gets even more serious.

"Promise." I intertwine my fingers with his metal hand.