Winter's Widow

Chapter 130: Sparring and Regrets

Wonder what this chapter could be about.

Natasha's pov:

"Why do you guys always do this?" Steve shakes his head.

Clint throws me.

"I've gotten used to it." Sam smiles and crosses his arms.

I slam Clint into the wall.

"Sparring in mY LIVING ROOM AGAIN!" Tony barks.

I throw Clint to the floor and straddle him. I start punching him in the face as he tries to flip me off.

"Dammit, Natalia!"

He pulls me off of Clint, a yelling fighting mess and drags me away from the scene. As he drags me down the hall, I see the boys trying to wrangle Clint. He pulls me into his room and locks the door. He sits me on his bed and kneels before me. He stares at me for a moment with an unreadable expression. I look down at my lap in shame. I cross my legs and put my hands on my lap.

"Goddammit. I left for half an hour, and what did I come back to? You and Clint beating the shit out of each other again. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry..." I mumble through watery eyes.

"Good. Now look at me." He lifts my chin so I'm looking at him

I can't keep eye contact with him.

"Hey, hey, why are you crying?" His voice is laced with concern.

"I'm not..." I put my head down again.

"Yes you are, don't lie to me. Why are you crying." He lift my chin again.

"I'm being a piece of shit again..." I mutter.

"No, no you're not."

"I pissed you off again..." Tears start flowing down my cheeks.

"Hey, stop crying. It's ok." He tries to wipe a tear but I pull away.

"It's not. I'm sorry. I don't try to be a burden, it just happens..." I whimper through the tears.

"Hey, stop. You're not a burden." He rests his hands on my thighs.

"I am, and I'm trying not to be. It just happens and I don't want it to. I'm sorry I just-"

"Natalia, stop." His voice is firm.

"I'm sorry!" I whimper and hang my head down.

"No, no, stop crying. You're not a burden on anyone. It's ok."

"I'm pissing you off again already." My voice makes it clear that I'm crying.

"No, I'm just concerned. Please stop crying."

"I can't. I can't. I just can't stop."

"I'm not mad at you."

"Bullshit. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"I'm sorry I can't- shit, sorry- fuck, sor- Dammit!" I dig my hand in my hair.

He lift my chin up and wipes off a tear. He's smiling faintly.

"Why are you smiling."

"You really are my babygirl." He says softly.

"I- I'm not a baby. I swear I'm not. I'm not a pussy. I'm not a pussy. Dammit. I pissed you off and now I'm just being a fucking disgrace!" I drop my head again.

"No, no, you're not! You're not a burden or a disgrace Natalia!"

"I was trained for years by you to be emotionless. Now here I am acting like a damn pussy."