Chapter 36

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AVATIA'S POV

Have you ever seen someone in so much pain that it causes you to be in pain too? Have you ever seen the strongest person you know, break down right before you? Have you ever seen someone become so vulnerable that it breaks your own heart?

Looking at my boss shed tears in front of me triggered my own emotions and I soon found myself crying too. I didn't know how to console him cause I've never been in such a situation.

"Avatia she was the only friend I had back in New York. She made me do things I wasn't used to doing. She made me pray, she made me go to orphanages, she made me eat food from moving trucks, she taught me to see the good in people. She did all these without even knowing who I truly was." He said as he wiped his eyes and ran his fingers over the beautiful portrait. "I really don't know how it happened but I found myself feeling strange things for her. I didn't believe in love, you know? To me, love was just something weaklings felt. But soon, I realized I became a weakling because I fell so deep for her. At first, I wanted to believe she was just this sweet naïve girl that I loved spending time with, but who was I kidding? She was the girl who made me laugh so hard, tears would flow down from my eyes. She was the girl who made me appreciate everything I had. She made my apologize when I did something wrong. And the funniest part was, she wasn't trying at all. She didn't force me to do them, I just found myself doing things I wasn't fond of doing. It was a strange feeling. I couldn't stand a day without seeing her. If that wasn't love then I don't know. Can you imagine that I even forgot about the mission I was sent to accomplish?" He chuckled humourlessly. "My dad was so pissed at me."

I wiped my own tears with my fingers. Whoever this girl was, must have really broken his heart. I gently patted his shoulders and massaged.

"Yes. I forgot about my mission and that earned me a lot of threats from my dad. But I didn't give a flying fuck. I still remember when I took her to the mansion. She thought I was the son of some Italian president." His gaze seemed faraway, and a small sad smile played on his lips. "But then, what was the point of lying to such a good person? I damned the consequences and told her my part in the Italian mafia. As expected, she freaked out. I was so scared that she was going to leave me. Avatia, for the first time I was afraid that I'll be all alone. I had spent a lot of time with her that the thought of being alone scared the shit outta me. But guess what, she didn't. She hugged me and told me she had grown to love me and couldn't bare the thought of not being with me. It was the happiest day of my life. I couldn't risk her life by taking her to see my dad. He was never going to be in support of me settling down. Nevaeh brought me so much happiness to the point where everyone noticed the change in me. She made me quit taking drugs, she made me quit my nasty drinking habit and most especially, she made me quit killing. She made me a better man. She was my better half. I couldn't imagine a life without her. She was my heaven. Just like her name."

I was confused. Just like her name? "Uhh...what do you mean just like her name?"

He swiped the portrait again and pointed to her name. "Her name is the inverse of HEAVEN. Her name's NEVAEH."

The wheels in my head started spinning in realization. No doubt I found the name somewhat strange and unique. That is the most beautiful name I've ever heard. NEVAEH.

"I was so in love with her and I knew I was willing to settle down and have kids. I bought this house for us. That's why it has a homely aura. We planned on having so many kids. Avatia she was my 'princess'. The only perfect person I knew. She was my idol and she still is. I wasn't shocked when she told me she was a virgin. At first, I thought I wasn't good enough to be her first but she assured me that I was the best person in the world for her. She made me feel like I had a heart of gold instead of the rock and stone cold heart I had. Oh, my sweet sweet Nevaeh. Time passed and I waited till she graduated from college. I already had plans of marrying her and when she told me the news of her pregnancy, that was the cherry on top. I didn't know why the heavens blessed me with such an Angel considering the monster I was. I still don't know till today though. Everything was going on perfectly till my birthday came around. I never for once celebrated my birthday but that particular year, she was hell bent on us going out. She'd picked out a resort where we could go to. I had to meet up with my brother and discuss somethings but we finished earlier than expected. When I called, she said I should go straight to the resort and wait for her. She was the boss so I did just that. I knew it was my perfect night and I planned to propose that same night. I already picked out the ring. Imagine a proposal on my birthday? How sweet. What I didn't know was that fate had different plans. I waited and waited and waited at the resort, but Nevaeh never showed up. I tried calling but she never picked up. Then I received a call from Leo. Nevaeh was involved in a car crash. I rushed to the hospital but it was of no use. She was dead. Dead and gone. That was the end of me Avatia. How could she go away without even a goodbye? Without even a warning? Just like that. On my birthday. On the same day I planned to propose to her. How could God be that heartless to take away the most precious thing I ever owned? And the worst part was, she was carrying our baby." By the time he ended, he was shaking uncontrollably as tears kept rolling down his cheeks. His precious heart had been broken.

I hugged him so tight, if only I could take away the pain he was feeling. If only I could mend his broken heart. If only I could bring back Nevaeh and his unborn baby, I would. He was hurting so much. "Please stop crying." I said, unable to stop myself from crying too. No wonder why he said God was dead to him.

"I knew that was the end of me Ava, my princess was gone and she took my heart away. She was gone for good. When she stopped me from taking drugs, it didn't bother me that much because she was my new drug and I was addicted to her already. But when she died, I was so lonely, I had to go back to things I vowed not to do. I went back to the monster I used to be. I became the cold blooded beast I am today. Worst than I used to be before she came into my life. I went to the coffee shop everyday, because I thought it was all a dream. I was willing to force myself into thinking all of it was just a nightmare. Maybe if I went there continuously, Adam would walk up to me and tell me that Nevaeh was in the kitchen making my coffe but that was not the case. I knew that was the end for me."

He turned to me for the first time and my heart stopped beating. His eyes were so red and he looked so sad. The vein at his temples had popped up. "Then you came along."

I must have been lying to myself when I said my heart stopped beating earlier. Hearing his words now, my heart actually stopped. Like for real. "Me?" I asked with so much uncertainty.

He was looking straight into my eyes. Felt like he was looking into my soul. "Yes Ava. You. Ever since I met you, it's like I'm seeing Nevaeh again. You fucking remind me a lot about her. I can't think straight when I'm around you. It's like I'm feeling things I lastly felt seven years ago again. And I'm trying so hard to get rid of those feelings but I can't. When I met you, the nightmares I always had greatly reduced. It's a debate in my mind. Should I try to start over or should I just send you faraway from me? Let's face it, when I sent you for that mission, I knew you were going to die, and I wanted that. I wanted you gone for good so that I could stop comparing you to Nevaeh. I wanted you out of my life."

My eyes widened and I immediately unwrapped my hands from his body. "What? You wanted me to die? Then why did you come and save me?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and looked away. "That's the point Avatia. I came because I realized that I didn't want to hurt you. Because hurting you, is hurting myself."

"You're trying to tell me that hurting me is hurting yourself?" I repeated what he said just to be sure.

He turned and faced me again, nodding slightly and looking at my lips. "Yes."

I gulped nervously. The way he was staring at me with such vulnerability in his eyes, scared me. "And I want to believe its not my heart doing the thinking right now, because its broken beyond repair."

He leaned in, very slowly. "Or maybe it's healing, because OF you."

He said, and without any warning, I felt his lips on mine.

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Please don't kill me for ending this chapter😂😂I'll write your kissing scene, okay? And I'll try to make it worth it.

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