Devotion [h.s]

256

Amelia Adams

"I'm sorry Ms. Adams, due to complications you seemed to have had a miscarriage." The doctor spoke at the foot of the hospital bed, his words sounding like an echo in a long dark tunnel.

The room went dead silent and I swore I heard the sound of my heart cracking my rib cage. My throat became so tight and dry within a second and my legs suddenly felt numb. Harry's hand gripped mine hard at the doctors words, his palms wet from sweat but cold at the same time. My body swelled of a broken heart and the only thing running through my mind was the thought of a baby and how I made it go away.

I was crushed.

"W-what? But we didn't even know she was p-pregnant." Harry spoke with a voice that just screamed disappointment and hurt.

"The blood work showed that Amelia was only two weeks along. I am so sorry but due to stress, the fetus didn't have a chance of survival. It is very common for women with this early stage of pregnancy. The first eight weeks are always this fragile and it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong." The doctor explained to me but I was lost in my own thoughts, drowning him out.

I turned my head and looked at Harry to my right, he stared at the doctor like what he was speaking in a different language. His eyes that deprived of sleep were red around the rims and displayed a look of utter shock. His skin was pale and his lips were slightly parted. I realized he wasn't breathing when his chest was puffed slightly like he forgot how to exhale.

His lips moved to speak but I couldn't hear him, everything went muffled in my ears and all I heard was the sound of my own beating heart. I stared at Harry as he spoke in slow motion to the doctor, then slowly turning my head down to where Briar was asleep next to me on the bed. I felt like I forgot how to speak, breathe, cry.

I couldn't cry.

Why couldn't I cry?

I stared blankly at my legs at the end of the bed, getting lost in empty space while anyone speaking around me was just an echo I couldn't comprehend. My heart swelled of hurt like a broken record and it left me feeling numb. I felt disconnected from everyone around me and myself. My body didn't feel like my own anymore, it wasn't the same body I've had all my life. It was now something that took a life.

When two hands grabbed my face and Harry was suddenly sitting in front of me on the bed, I stared into his green eyes that were full of hurt and loss.

"Amelia listen to me." He said as my hearing was still muffled and I was lost in his tired orbs. I didn't want to listen, I didn't know how.

"This isn't your fault baby. Okay? You need to understand that." He said sternly, staring into my aching soul and dying for me to receive his words but it was nothing but backlash. This was my fault, this was my body that did this.