Devotion [h.s]

292

"I uhm, thought I should so I could look nice.. for you." He says while scratching the back of his neck.

My heart flutters a bit at the effort he puts in to make me happy. I'm truly touched by his kind act, but I don't want him to feel like he needs to change to satisfy me.

"That's very sweet Harry.. but go put it back in." I rest my hand on his cheek. He arches his brow subtly and puckers his lips a bit.

"Why?"

"Because you like wearing the lip ring."

-Malignant

Amelia Adams

Today was the day I found out some heartbreaking news. I found out that in my forgotten past, we lost a baby. They were only two weeks along, a bundle of cells, but they were going to be a sibling to Briar, and our baby.

It was hard to come to face with, but I had to understand there was nothing I could've done. Harry was right, they baby wouldn't of survived anyway due to my coma I was put in shortly after the miscarriage. The baby was never meant to be ours, and that was okay, but it was still truly heartbreaking.

After feeding Briar I played with her for a bit in the living room, she loved to grab onto the coffee table and walk back and forth with its support. I don't know when babies are suppose to walk on their own but she was seeming to get very close.

I wanted Harry basically to take the day off with caring for her all the time. I need to learn how to parent on my own as much as I could. I've tried to not think about the war and what it was going to do to him. If I obsessed about it then I'd be in a depressed state for next month. I had to stay positive, he was here right now and that's all the mattered.

After Briar and I played, I successfully put her down for a nap. During her nap I cleaned up my room and read my book for a bit, but something kept surfacing my mind that was really distracting.

Harry.

He was always a thought in my brain lately and ever since our conversation today, my thoughts of him have increased. I saw such a beautiful side to him today when he was kneeled in front of me and telling me I will be an amazing mother to Briar.

The way his eyes glimmered when he spoke and how his lips softly parted when listening to me, he was starting to be the most constant thing on my mind.

After Briar's nap I got her up again and we watched some television which really distracted her this time. She was solid as a rock. I learned how to change her diaper which was a trip but I figured it out. Harry has spent the day cleaning up the house and working out. When dinner rolled around we just took it easy and made a bunch of random things that were in the cupboard. It was crazy to have access to things like vegetables and fruits because the last time I remember it was hard to have those sorts of luxuries. When I was nineteen the world wasn't what it is today. We didn't have cellphones or fresh foods or freedoms to roam anytime. But it was different now. I don't know how everything really changed but it did within the two years of my forgotten life. It was good to see people got to live more normally again, that we weren't animals in cages anymore.

After our late dinner we cleaned up and I tried to put Briar down to bed without Harry's help. It took a little bit but when I softly sang her a song my mom used to sing me, it knocked her right out. I was proud of myself for getting her to sleep, it seems stupid but it was an big achievement for me. After laying her down I just took my time to look at her for a bit, admiring her soft features.