Angelo Caduto - Fallen Angel (SpaMano - Gakuen!AU) (discontinued)

Chapter 14

Of all the horrible things that happened this week, this has got to be the fucking worst.

My little brother, who I tried so hard and failed to protect, has a boyfriend.

And he just so happens to be dating the one person I hate the most.

Fucking hell.

So much is happening in my life.

My parents died when my brother and I were still toddlers.

My grandfather took me away to the Underworld without our consent – he just fled, just like that.

I had been abused almost every day of my life, up until I was eleven.

My brother and I were homeless for several months.

We were poor.

I've been assigned to go through with an arranged marriage with my brother, of all people.

And I'll be publicly tortured for an entire day if I don't do it.

My boyfriend is always too concerned for me, and I feel bad.

He's going to study abroad after graduating – and I won't see him for more than five years. Hell, he'll probably be on the other side of the fucking world.

And now my brother is dating the person I despise most in the entire world.

Think, Lovino. Why are you still here? Why are you still living?

You'll never die, Lovino. Because you were lucky enough to be born immortal.

But the one I love is a mortal.

And I don't want to make him suffer by converting him to be a demon like me. He doesn't deserve to suffer in the Underworld.

But I'm a half-blood. I can't die based on accident, I can only die if I'm being executed by someone from the Underworld, or if I choose to take my own life.

I can choose.

I can kill myself.

So why haven't I done that now?

I've hated myself, I've hated my entire life for so long.

So why hasn't it come to my mind – that I could do it, just like that?

All I do is make everything harder for everyone.

I probably never thought of killing myself because I'm so fucking ignorant.

Yeah, that's right, I'll say it again.

I'm an ignorant bastard.

I am useless.

But I'll end that now.

Goodbye.