Angelo Caduto - Fallen Angel (SpaMano - Gakuen!AU) (discontinued)

Chapter 65

"Do you think I look cute in this?"

I spin around, showing off the new dress I had bought off online. The hem of the dress was lined with lace, as were the short, puffed sleeves. What's more was, the dress itself was completely pink -- a light, pastel kind of pink.

Antonio looks up from his phone, and his eyes widen. I tense, as he looks me up and down.

"Darling, you look beautiful," he whispers, holding my hands into his. "Absolutely adorable."

I roll my eyes. "So fucking dramatic." He laughs, and pinches my cheeks.

"You're soooooo cute!!"

"I-I'm really not," I stammer, walking towards the mirror. I stop in my tracks, as I realize that I'm barely recognizable in the dress and accessories.

I almost feel...beautiful.

Almost.

Antonio kisses me on the cheek, and places his hands on my shoulders. "No, don't degrade yourself like that. I love you so much, and I think you're beautiful -- no matter what you wear."

I blush. "I-I don't really look like myself, though. Not that that's a bad thing, of course."

Biting my lip, I keep my thoughts to myself. I really do hate the way I look -- the way I am. But if I let him know that, it'll make him sad. And then I'll be sad, which'll make him even sadder, and then I'll start crying.

"Well I think you definitely look like yourself," he sighs. "Are you sure you want to cut your hair? I like it long like this, you know."

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I notice my slim, feminine body frame fitting nicely into the dress, my hair at shoulder-length. It doesn't feel right to dress like this at the mall -- in public, because there'd be people I know from school -- people who would see me like this.

But at the same time, it just...feels right to me. Antonio's right -- I should be who I want to be, not who people tell me I am. Because I know myself best.

...

...Not that I want to be a girl, of course. I'll start working out frequently with Liz and Alfred soon, dammit. I...I look feminine to the point that I look like a girl. And I don't want to look like a girl, because that's not who I am.

...How does Antonio even deal with someone like me? I'm so fucking inconsistent with everything.

I look up at my boyfriend. "Nah. I think I'll take Mei's advice for today, and keep it down like this. I think...I think..."

A wave of hesitation brushes over me, but I shake off the nervous feeling, and give a smile.

"I think I look...cute."

--

Liz grins. "Oho? Who's this with you, Antonio?"

I glare at the floor, and my boyfriend smiles. "It's my beautiful, adorable, boyfriend -- Lovino. And nobody can tell me otherwise."

With an attitude like mine, I don't know how the hell I managed to score a boy like him, dammit. I squeeze his hand. "I feel like this looks wrong, but...I felt cute today, dammit."

Her eyes widen. "That's...I've never thought in my entire life that I'd ever hear you say anything like that, Lovino. Self-confidence -- that's a first!"

I frown. "But I look like a girl. And my voice is so goddamn low."

"So?" She smirks, looking down at herself. "Why are clothes even gendered, anyway? If a girl like me can wear pants, why can't a guy like you wear cute dresses?"