Vista - Attack on Titan x Reader

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE: Grief

When I woke up, I was laying down upon rattling wood. There was no canopy above me, only vast, blue sky...

...and I could hear the aggressive shouting of men and women alike.

"MADE SUCH A FUSS AND BACK BEFORE LUNCH, HUH?!" Someone yelled viciously. "JUDGING BY THOSE POUTY FACES, THEY AT LEAST MANAGED TO BLOW OUR TAXES!"

Shut up...You don't know anything...

"Captain Levi, sir! Thank you for taking such good care of my daughter! I'm Petra's father! There's something I would like to discuss with you before I find her..!"

When I heard that name, I also heard that sound. The sharp, distinct crack of a skull, and the splintering noise of that damned tree trunk. The crunching of the gravel beneath the wheels of the wagon was almost triggering, as it was so painfully similar.
"Eren, you need to rest."

Eren...Jaeger...

His name made my blood boil, and I used every shred of energy, suffering through the intense pain in my left shoulder, to sit up. He was behind me, in another wagon. Bruised, bandaged, and flanked by his ravonette guard dog. Even in the crippled state I was in, I wanted to leap over the edge and kill him.

How...Why does he get to..?

"J..JAEGER!" The break in my voice stung my throat as I screamed out at him, and a heavy silence fell upon both the convoy of defeated soldiers and the citizens around us. "WH..WHY DID YOU GET TO SURVIVE?! WHY...DID YOU GET TO MAKE THAT FUCKING CH..CHOICE..?!"

His wide, crystal eyes stared at me, filled with so many emotions. Fear, regret, pain...and pity, as Mikasa moved in front of him protectively. I hated that look above all others.
"Forgive me, but I will have to find you later, Mr. Ral, as I also have something regarding your daughter to discuss...but I need to tend to something beforehand." I heard Levi utter a hurried apology to Petra's father, and then he was beside me, leading both Mire and Boy along the road.

His eyes looked sunken in his skull, and his mouth was a razor sharp line that split his face in two.
"A..and you..." I whispered, feeling the words I wanted to scream at him building up in my scorching throat.
"If you're able, climb onto your horse. I need to talk with you." He said bluntly, casting his eyes downward.

Talk...Yeah, right...You passed us by...you didn't even stop...You refuse to grieve..!

I looked to Boy, who was craning his neck over the side of the wagon, puffing warm air towards me as he checked that I was alright. With a shaky sigh, I stood up, barely managing to stay on my feet before I eased myself over the stallion's back. Levi pulled us away slowly, and the crowd parted, as if scared for their lives as he neared them. It didn't stop the slandering curses and shouts, but that's all they could manage.

I kept my eyes squeezed shut, timing the pulse I felt through my horse's skin as we walked on, and trying my hardest to hang on with only one arm in commission. I didn't want to talk, but I knew that if I had remained back there; so close to the one at fault, I would have murdered him.

"Are you able to dismount?" Levi prompted me to open my eyes, and I realised we were not too far from the old barracks, in a silent backstreet, cloaked in shadows. It was morbidly dreary, and it fitted the situation. With no response, I carefully began to slide off Boy's side, baring my teeth as I felt hands lightly guide me from behind.
"Don't touch me..!" I hissed, quickly switching from aggression to pain when I tried to throw him off with my shoulders.

My injury was strapped tightly, with my arm to my chest, but I could handle the hurting if it meant he would get away from me. Levi backed away immediately, watching with dull eyes as I finally made it to the ground, still leaning on Boy for support.
"(Y/N), you all fought well...I know it may seem like it was pointless, but i-"