Vista - Attack on Titan x Reader

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE: For the Record

I had fallen asleep somewhere along the line, and I definitely wasn't very polite to the poor solider who had been tasked with waking me up. Still groggy and grumpy, I wiped the drool from my chin as I ambled through the small corridor, towards the door.

Ugh...Three hours, was it? At least I'm with Mike...Maybe he can tell me more about Winnie and Ackerbitch...

"Oi, (Y/N), wait up." I barely turned my head when Jean called out to me, jogging up to fall into step.
"I've got shit to do, Jean. Make it quick." It was surprising hearing myself speak so coldly to everyone; even the copperette, but I just couldn't risk it. Attachments had already been made, but I needed to sever them as soon as possible. There couldn't be a repeat.

"Quit the ice queen act...What the hell has gotten into you? You used to be all weird and bubbly...Now you're just a bitch..." The boy grimaced, pocketing his hands. He didn't seem to realise he was stepping into dangerous territory, seeing as I had just woken up on the wrong side of the wooden floor.

"I don't think I really need to explain myself to you, Jean-boy..." I snipped, using the dreaded nickname Marco had once told me about. "I'm not in the mood to hear you bitch and moan about all of this, so spit out whatever it was you were gonna say. Otherwise you can let me get on with my job."

Seriously...back off...Why does Levi make this look so easy..?

Now equally as pissed off, Jean gritted his teeth and hunched his shoulders, compromising his own height.
"This is just it! You're the talk of the group, besides the whole containment thing! You're acting all angsty and shit! We've all lost people, but that doesn't mean we need to throw ourselves a fucking pity party!"

I felt a strong, burning pulse shoot up from my chest when he had finished speaking, and I could feel my nails digging into the heels of my hands to prevent myself from throwing my arm out and coat-hanging the bastard.
"Sorry...but did you lose your fiance..? Did you watch the person you loved get bitten clean in half..?" I turned and looked up into his eyes, which had widened slightly. His mouth popped open and closed in a speechless display, and I clicked my tongue, just like my captain had taught me. "I didn't fucking think so..."

I know you've all lost people you care about...but I'm not wired like you are...I'm pathetic...and all I can do to save myself is be selfish and stay away from you...

"I don't want to go through that again...I can't do it again. Think whatever you want, and let people talk, but it isn't going to change anything." I knew damn well he wasn't going to drop it, but when his hand flew out and grabbed hold of my wrist, I wasn't prepared.
"Then what's the point in risking your life?! What is it all for, if you don't care about anybody?! Who the fuck are you fighting for?! Cuz I know for fucking certain it isn't yourself..!"

Why...is this bothering you so much..?

The ability to speak temporarily evaded me, and all I could do was stare into his amber hues and lean as far back as possible. No matter how hard I tried, I could only come up with that one answer; the one he knew was true, but I just couldn't say it.

I was fighting for all of them.

"Jean, maybe you should take a walk..." A large hand tore Jean away from me, and in seconds I could only see his copper undercut over a broad, bulging shoulder.
"Don't act like you're not shitted about this too..." Jean growled, glaring daggers at Reiner before spinning on his heel and storming back into the shadowed hall. The blond turned to face me, then, and his expression softened.
"Would you mind if I walked you to your post?"