Vista - Attack on Titan x Reader

CHAPTER FORTY THREE: Shouldn't, Couldn't, Wouldn't

The sight of Erwin heading towards us with his pack of ravenous titans was enough to strike terror into my heart. Not because of the danger to myself, but to Reiner, Bertholdt, and both Ymir and Krista.

Even with his abnormalities and brute strength, a hoard that size was life-threatening, but I knew that, even if it was just for a short while, I had to pull back. Going down before I could speak to him properly wasn't an option.

Sasha and Connie flanked me as we slowed a little, hoping to avoid getting caught up in the swarm.
"(Y/N), I think you should maybe pull back!" Sasha said worriedly, watching me hurry to clean up my tear stains.
"Yeah, you're looking majorly traumatised! We can handle this, y'know?! You don't have to push yourself!"

Shaking my head, I kept my eyes on Reiner's back as the hoard closed in, watching as he leaned into it, using his armored shoulder to charge. My fists closed right around the loose strands of Boy's flaxen mane.
"Mind your own hide! This isn't even c..close to pushing anything..!"

Oh, but it was. My vision was doubling more often than not, and I could feel a bout of the shakes coming on. Sweat was gathering upon my skin like beads of glass, feeling too hot for it to be considered normal.

It was then than Erwin galloped past me, as tense as anything, gritting his teeth.
"SOLDIERS DISPERSE! GET AWAY FROM THE TITANS!" He ordered in a roar, and my first instinct was to follow him. Boy snorted as I directed his head to turn, and I silently apologised to the poor creature for putting so much on his shoulders. The others followed suit, halting once we were a decent way away from the chaos.

Jean was by my side again, and his gaze lingered on me for an almost uncomfortable amount of time.
"Fall back, (Y/N). That's...an order." He said is so flatly, I would have either laughed or punched him square in the kisser if I had been myself. Instead, I just looked dead ahead.
"Recheck your rank, you idiot..."

He's just looking out for me...So were Connie and Sasha...but...I can't turn back now. I'm so close...

"It was worth a shot, right..?" Jean responded quietly, turning his attention to Reiner, as he began to scream out thundering cries as the titans attempted to drag him down. It shook me to the core, hearing that sound. My tongue was nearly being halved between my teeth as I sat helplessly atop Boy, who was uneasily shifting his weight between his front legs. "What is this..? Is this hell..?"

"No, but it will be..!" Erwin burst through those of us who sat stationary, raising his blade as he charged ahead. "All soldiers, FORWARD!" There was no hesitation on my part, and I let loose a short, guttural growl as I kicked Boy into action, seeming to snap the other soldiers out of their daze.

I know it would be counted as insubordination if I killed the titans around them...but...

"ADVANCE..!" From the moment Erwin ripped out his battlecry, time seemed to move at a snail's pace. Right beside me; so close, blood began to spray like water from a broken pipe. The man was lifted up and away, still ordering people to charge in a strained, almost wild voice as the titan continued to run. "EREN IS STRAIGHT AHEAD! ADVANCE!" The terror I felt was overwhelming as I battled between the two choices I had. Rescue Erwin, or reach Reiner.

He said...to advance...It's what he wanted..!

"Y..YOU HEARD HIM! ADVANCE!" I repeated the last words I had heard from the Commander, kicking into an unbeatable speed, straight towards my target, as the others hesitated. Titans were coming from every direction, but I put all of my faith into my closest friend. Boy dodged and weaved through grabbing hands and snapping jaws, and I just held on for dear life, praying for my head to seal itself back up, even if it was just for a few minutes.