Behind The Stage (BxB)

Chapter 68-Content Agreement

Chapter 68
Content Agreement

Alexei POV

Fucking hell. The panic I'm feeling right now is too much, making me swallow as I stare at my boy who had to come back just now. My chest tightens with my quickened heartbeats. I'm not used to feeling like this. Why did he do it so quietly, anyway, huh? Not sneak in when I'm having a private...this conversation with my idiot of a sister!

Overwhelmed and giving up, my firm grip on my phone loosens and I rub my face trying to calm down. It's too late now to do anything else than go through this. Whatever, I'll just brush it off. No big deal. Like it always has been.

I hear Lucien eventually moving first, walking closer and then I feel the bed dip indicating he's sat down.

"W-what did y-you just say?" Lucien whispers, making me groan and let my hands fall on my lap as I open my eyes. He's sitting at the end of the bed, not as close as I wish he was. "I-I mean, didn't mean t-to e-eavesdrop, I-I swear, but I just came i-in a-and heard...before I realized...I'm sorry."

I sigh, gathering my thoughts back so I can act like the responsible adult here. "Not your fault. I...yes, I had this insane, on impulse really, plan of proposing to you and bought the ring even already."

"Why didn't...I-I mean, what happened...w-why throw it a-away?" Lucien asks, shyly fidgeting with his fingers and not looking at my direction. Why does he sound disappointed? No big deal, neither of us wants to get married so this is a good thing.

"I overheard Cori and you, after our pool room date, and you said you don't want to ever get married. Like I don't, so I don't know what I was thinking."

Silence, until Lucien breaks it. "Um, well, t-to be honest now, I said a-and think that because...w-well..."

"Spit it out, babe, and let's get this ridiculous conversation over with" I say and grunt, making Lucien giggle and nod relieving some of the tension between us.

"Because I-I know, well I knew, that y-you don't want t-to get m-married a-and I want to be w-with you. Even if we don't e-ever marry or even s-stay together forever, it's o-okay."

"But you'd like to get married, some day?"

Lucien blushes deeper and shrugs. "I'm not a-against it. I've dreamed a-about having what m-my parents have, but n-not really thought about it because didn't t-think I could e-even have a relationship a-and with you it hasn't crossed a-as an option. Now, I-I think you do want to get married as you even bought a-a ring, but backed o-off because of me. That tells s-something, it's you."

"I don't think I'm ready, Lucien" I say quietly, shaking my head. "I definitely see a future with you and want to be with you like so far, but I...just don't think I'm up for it. For me it's a deal you can't just break off with papers and throwing the ring away, when it's put on the finger. That commitment just scares me, even if I considered it with you."

A bright smile appears on Lucien's face. "I'm v-very happy you even c-considered it" he says and takes my hand into his smaller ones carefully. "But y-you can relax, I'm alright without i-it, Alexei. Just so happy you c-care for me that much. You're not ready for it a-and I'm young, now is not the best time o-or circumstances for it anyway. I don't w-want it when you don't. I'm content and happy l-like this. Let's just m-move on like so f-far, okay?"

I grab my baby boy's face between my hands and kiss him, holding him like the treasure he is. While the kiss goes on with his occasional moans, of his own accord he gets closer and straddles me. It's both of our favorite position, I have noticed.

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