Meant to Be || Cameron Dallas

Chapter Forty Five

Leah's POV:

To Cameron: Nash brought me to his house. We're hanging out, but he says just pick me up from here. (:

I pressed send, and immediately a wave of guilt came over me. I sat beside Nash, whom I have just kissed, on his bed. 

The thing that scares me most about what I'm feeling right now is that what I'm feeling isn't regret. I felt guilty for kissing Nash behind Cameron's back, but I didn't feel guilty for how kissing him made me feel.

Kissing Nash gave me these sort of black butterflies that I never got while kissing Cameron.

The sense of danger excited me, but the fear of Cameron finding out nearly brought me to tears.

What am I going to do?

Duh, Leah. You're going to forget that any of this ever even happened with Nash. You're going to focus on how in love with Cameron you are, and you're going to work on keeping Nash out of your head.

But what if I can't?

Well then you're going to try.

I sat against the headboard of Nash's bed, twiddling my thumbs and mentally fighting myself.

"We have to act natural about this," Nash said out of nowhere, startling me.

With him mentioning this again, all I wanted was to jump into his lap and kiss him again.

Leah, control yourself. You have to keep your head clear of thoughts like that. It's thoughts like that that will tear your relationship with Cameron apart.

But I want to.

I was confusing myself with all of the thoughts that were running so quickly through my head. One second I was terrified of losing Cameron and what this might do to our relationship, and then the next second I'm lusting after Nash again.

I sat there in anticipation of Cameron's arrival. Nash sat beside me, eyes focused on the movie that was playing on his TV. He had turned on Henry Selick's Coraline, and was lost in the creepy claymation characters dancing about the screen.

I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind as I watched his eyelashes flutter when he blinked.

Knock, knock, knock.

I heard Cameron knock on the door and a whole new wave of guilt came over me. Nash jumped at the sound of the door, and quickly adjusted himself to look as 'casual' as he thought he could manage to before Cameron came up the stairs.

I turned my head towards the movie, and locked my phone screen just before Cameron entered the room.

"Hey guys!" Cameron swung the door open quickly and popped himself into Nash's bedroom.

Just then, the guilt found it's way into the depths of my stomach. 

I felt like I had broken his heart, initially breaking mine.

This thing, whatever it is, with Nash cannot go on. Not if this is the feeling that comes along with it.

"Hey Cam," Nash said, directing his attention to a very sharply dressed Cameron.

"Hey babe," I smiled, pulling the covers off of myself and standing up to stretch my back.

We all exchanged glances before Nash paused the movie and got off of his bed.

"Whatcha guys been up to?" Cameron smiled, looking around Nash's bedroom.

Nash looked at me and swallowed, balling his fists and cracking his knuckles.