A Soldier's Girl

Chapter 50:

Chapter 50:

Daryl's View

Joel has gone to sleep and Beth is still in the bathroom. I don't hear the pump going and I'm starting to worry. Jimmying the door open, I open it up and find her asleep in the tub, curled up with towels as a blanket and pillow and the pump full on the sink. Sighing, I pick her up out of the tub and carry her to the bed and lay her down under the covers. Shutting off the light, I take the one baby monitor downstairs and sleep on the couch, cause I figure that's where I was gonna end up anyway. 

Sleeping through the night, I awake to Beth screaming my name. Falling off the couch I sprint upstairs half asleep and burst through the door. She's sitting up in bed crying and I search the room for the problem. 

"What? What's wrong? Is Joel okay? What's wrong?" Frantically looking at the baby in his slow swinging cradle, his eyes are open and he keeps yawning. "What's wrong?" 

She opens her arms and now I know she probably just had a bad nightmare. I go to her and climb into bed and sit next to her. She immediately looks me over before crashing her body into my chest. I hold her close and rub my hand down her back.

"It's okay...I'm here. I got you, Beth. What's wrong? Was it a nightmare?"

"I thought I lost you... you weren't in bed and I...I thought..." She can't even finish her sentence without crying harder and harder.

"Oh baby...baby I'm not going anywhere....I'm not letting go of you, Bethy." Kissing her head, she just starts crying even harder and we lay in bed.

After a few minutes, Joel starts wimpering and Beth pulls from me. 

"Oh baby...come here, Joel Wes. Come to mommy." Picking him up, she rocks him back and forth and looks at me. "I think he's hungry..."

"Do you want me to heat up a bottle..."

"I wanna see if he'll breast feed first." She says trying to stay positive, even as she sniffs from crying.  Lifting her shirt over her head and taking off her bra, she tries to get Joel to take to her nipple, but the child is fussing. "Please...please Joel..." 

Watching her get upset with him not taking to her, I begin to feel bad.

"Does...does he know how to suckle?" I ask stupidly and she looks at me. "Here..."

Taking my finger, I run it against Joel's cheek and at first he does nothing, but then he starts sucking on my finger, but I pull it away. Taking Beth's breast, I rub the nipple against his cheek and at first Joel ignores it, but soon he latches on and I can see the relief strike Beth. She starts to relax and I wipe her eyes of her tears. 

"I'm a terrible mother..."

"No...Beth, it's hard to do this. You're amazing and new at this. It's not easy, but we'll do the best we can." Joel looks up at her with his green eye and she smiles down at him. "About last night... I didn't mean it when I said you weren't a Dixon. I meant that the guy Dixon's have this problem and we don't fix our problems..."

"It's okay Daryl...I think it's just my hormones. I'm sorry."

"Honey, you don't have to be sorry. I need to be more sensitive with you." Kissing her neck, she smiles and leans her head to the side. "Oh honey, I want you so bad."

"Daryl...we can't. We need to watch Joel."

"He'll fall asleep soon. We just put him down in his crib, turn up the baby monitor, and go at it..."

"Daryl." She scolds me and I sit back agaisnt the bed. "I just started getting better from the accident, just started mothering a child and you want to have sex?" 

"Not sex...making love. Loving you up."

"Nice try...but not today."

"Fine..."

"Am I sensing disappointment with a hint of attitude?"

"I'm sensing you need me inside you..." I give her a wicked grin and she glowers at me.

"Out you horn dog. Not today and for that, not tomorrow either."

"But Beth..."

"You wanna make it three days?"

"And you said you weren't a good mother..." I kiss her and get up to take the dogs out and make her breakfast.

After breakfast, I change Joel's diaper and then lay in bed beside Beth as she watches Joel beside her side of the bed. Laying behind her, I watch him from over her shoulder and I hear her sigh.

"He's so perfect." Looking down at her, I believe she's more in love with that baby than she is with me.

"Is it everything you thought it would be?"

"Better. He's the perfect baby...he looks just like you."

"I don't know about that last part...but if that's who you see." I kiss her temple and she sighs again. "You keep sighing. Why?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Of course." Leaving little kisses on her shoulder, she rolls in my arms and looks into my eyes.

"I wanna have another baby."

'Well, we did discuss how they have to come in twos. So I suppose when Joel's two we should..."

"I wanna have one now..." I give her a questioning look and she looks down at me and her hand plays down my boxers. I'm immediately hard from her touch.

"Honey, we should wait a bit..."

"But they should be close in age..."

"Beth. We just had him a month ago... I think we should wait a while before we jump into having another one." I pull her hand from my boxers, though it's rough to pull her touch from me. "Honey, can we wait a bit before we start trying for another baby?"

"Not too long..." She give me s sour look and I kiss her nose.

"Of course not."