A Soldier's Girl

Chapter 52:

Chapter 52:

Daryl's View

Coming home from work, I set my things down and let the dogs out. I call Beth, but she's no where to e seen. Heading towards the nursery, I slowly open the door and find her laying back in the rocking chair, holding a Winnie the Pooh toy, her eyes are closed tightly. Kneeling beside her, I slow her rocking down a bit and her eyes slowly open.

"Hey...whats going on?"

"I must've fell asleep here."

"Everything okay?" I rub her knees as she continues to rock back and forth a tiny bit.

"Yeah..." Her face seems forlorn and her eyes do too as her finger tips rub against her stomach.

"Hey...everything's going to be okay. Alright?"

"Can we have another baby, Daryl? Cause right now I'm jus scared...."

"What happened last time won't happen again...okay? Are you still having nightmares?"

"Daymares too. It's like I can hear him cooing still or crying and sometimes I swear my dreams are so real that when he's on them...I never want to wake up." Tears fall from her eyes as I pull her forward in the chair and hold her.

"Listen...its been two years baby...Joel is in a better place and he's watching over us and this baby..." I place my hand on her stomach and she wipes her eyes. "Honey...baby, look at me."

Slowly pulling her eyes to my face, they shimmer with tears. Kissing her lips, I remember how hard it was that day we lost Joel and for two years her nightmares and odd behaviors have been nothing but a reminder of that pain. That's why when we found out we were pregnant again six months ago, I started putting my walls back up to be strong for Beth, who is still taking the lose very hard...I am too, but I have to be brave for us both.

"I just don't want to lose him..."She rubs her stomach and cries some more.

"Honey, we won't...we won't."

Getting her up, I walk her to the bedroom upstairs and we lay down. Curving around her body, I hold her from behind and kiss her shoulder.

"Daryl..."

"Yeah baby?"

"Is it my fault?"

"No...absolutely not."

"If I'd have given him the baby aspirin like you said to, he might still be here...he might have been okay..." She jerks with her tears and I just roll her over and hold her as close as I can get with her belly in between us.

"Baby you can't do this. Yer not going to blame yerself. We can't go back and play what if...God took Joel for a reason, Beth. And it hurts us now, but sooner or later we will understand why it happened."

"I just miss him...I love him so much...and I relive that terrible day every night..."

"I know...I know, Beth." Kissing her head, I only want her to feel safe and happy, but I know that might not happen for a long long time.

Waking up the next morning, I find Beth next to me staring at the ceiling. Leaning over I kiss her and then her stomach.

"Good morning Beautiful..."

"Morning..."

"How are you feeling?" I rub her stomach and she gives me a small smile. "Better today?"

She nods her head a little bit and I smile at her.

"Good...is Jackson behaving himself?"

"Yeah...he's sitting on my bladder though..."

"Oh man...no peeing the bed." I playfully scold her and she smiles, but then frowns a bit.

"It's so cold in here..."

"Want me to grab you another blanket or turn the heat on?"

"Blanket, please." Getting up I grab her a blanket from the hope chest at the end of the bed and gently lay it over her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm gonna let the dogs in from the pen and bring up some breakfast. You want my thing specific?"

"No."

"Okay...I'll be back." Kissing her forehead, I sprint down stairs and open up the garage door from the basement and they jump up and down at me. "Hey...hey now. Calm down both I you. Mommy's having a good start to her day...so we have to be extra extra sensitive."

That's been my life for the passed two years. Being extra extra sensitive around Beth. If you say the wrong thing she cries or gets mad. Sometimes if you do something, it simply upsets her to no end.

Making her eggs and toast, I grab her a cup of milk and take it up to her.

"Here you go...Beth..." Looking around she's not in the bedroom and then I notice the door is shut. Opening it up after setting her breakfast down, I find her sitting on the edge of the tub with a bit of blood dripping on the floor and her hands smeared with blood also. her face is beat red and tears have begun to fall down them.

"I don't know what to do...." She starts crying and I come over and pain hits me deep.

"Hey...hey...it's okay....let me...umm...let me get an a Ambulance over here...okay?" It's definitely not okay. Running back downstairs I call the ambulance and they are on their way. I rush back upstairs and try to calm Beth, but I, myself, am having trouble not crying and panicking.

"Daryl..."

"It's okay...the ambulance with be here soon and it'll be okay." She's shaking and I grab a cloth and wet it to wipe the blood from her hands and off the floor. "Did you try going to the bathroom or what were you doing before this started?"

"I just felt wet... and I came in here..." She is hyperventilating and I pull her close, trying to comfort her.

"Okay...okay..."

When the ambulance arrives, they help her down stairs and onto a gurney. As I drive behind them to the hospital I start crying and cursing. How can this happen again? How can we lose this baby too? It's not fair!