Chapter 63

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Tu kab itni ahem bangayi meri zindagi mein,
Teri har cheez yun iss tarah asar karti hai.
Dil mein itna dard jagati hai teri batein,
Kya tujhe malum nahi,
Tu iss dil mein basar karti hai?

Sid closes his eyes, sitting on that bench near the old burnt warehouses. He speaks aloud,"Baba.. Why?.. Why people don't get you? Why?" He lowers his head, resting it on his hands,"Why people close to you hurt you the most? First Shini and now Sana. Why? Please talk to me. Please.." His eyes are now filled with water,"Do you think I am over reacting? I know she wants to buy things for me. I know it is her right and I am okay with it. I have never taken anything from anyone but she is my wife, so I did accept from her. However it's so expensive. I just wanted to explain it to her not to spend so much on me.." He looks at the vast sea ahead of him. His present state of mind is like the sea ahead, it is roaring but it's filled with unending darkness. He says,"I am not built for her world. I am adjusting you know that. But the way she spoke to me today..it is hurting." He whispers,"For the first time in life, I fell in love. Inspite of everything I faced, I loved her. Only because I knew she was different. I thought she understood me just like you did. But I was wrong, I am wrong. She is ashamed of me. She is ashamed of my status, my job everything is low for her. She wants me to be like her friends. I can never become like them. Never. I don't know what I should do.. Help me please."

Sid:Baby I can't wear this. It is too expensive. You know..
Sana: Bebu I know you don't like to spend money on yourself. But please don't say anything today.
Sid: Is it compulsory to wear blazers at the premiere? I can just wear any shirt of mine.
Sana: No it is not compulsory. But I want you to wear this.
Sid: Let us go to some other store then. It is very expensive. I can't afford them, you know that.
Sana: Let me handle that.
Sid:I can't let you spend so much on me, on things like clothes.
Sana: Baby, please for one day, don't stop me. Please wear what I am buying for you.
Sid: I wore the Kurta and Shirt you got me but this is too much.
Sana: This is a very important day for me. I won't spend any big amount on you in future but don't say no today. Tumhe meri kasam don't say anything more..
Sid: You and your kasam. Fine. But remember no more expensive clothes for me in future.
Sana: Okay but you can't stop me from buying things for you. Mere haq hai tumpe.(She giggles)
Sidharth I need to confess something. Promise tum gussa nahi karoge.
Sid: No.(hugging her)
Sana:I was cleaning the shelves and I might have read your diary. I didn't intend to but it was a mistake. I am sorry. Please gussa nahi ho toh..
Sid: Might have or you have read it?
Sana: (closing one eye) I have..
Sid:You shouldn't have read it. It's wrong. But I have promised you so it's okay.. don't do it again.
Sana: Never.. I love you my handsome shayer..
Sid:I ..

Sid wakes up suddenly feeling a touch of hand on his head. His mother is running her hand, smiling at him. He sits up on the sofa that he had been sleeping on after returning last night. He realises, he was dreaming everything. He finds a blanket over him. Sumitraji says,"Sana must have put this on you. She was awake, waiting for you all night. Why do you always leave the home when you get angry? Kahan jata hai tu?" Sid does not answer to her questions. She sits beside him and caressing his head,"Jhagda hua hai na. You want to talk about it." Sid is still quiet as she continues,"I know Sid, you were close to your father. He was your friend with whom you shared everything. But bache you can talk to me also." Sid rubs his temples and says,"There is nothing to say Maa. I understood my place in this world. The reality of this society is money and status is above any relationship. It is far more important than love." Sumitraji says,"It's not true bacha. I don't know what has happened between you two but I know you both love each other. It is common for couples to argue, to misunderstand things. Talk and sort it out."

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