Thick and Thin [l. hemmings]

seventy-four

When I wake up, Ashton is sitting at the edge of my bed, making me let out a small squeak.

"Relax, it's me." Ashton laughs.

"What are you doing?" I groan, throwing a pillow at him.

"Honestly, I'm just bored. Nina isn't home and Kyle is asleep."

"I was also asleep!" I weakly exclaim, still half asleep.

"But I can't cuddle with Kyle." He frowns, pouting at me.

I sigh, holding my arms out to get him to come join me.

"Is Luke gonna be okay with this?" Ashton laughs, looking down at me as I curl up in his arms.

"Yeah, he gets it. Don't worry." I chuckle, since Luke and I have actually talked about this before.

"He seems like he's doing really well. You guys are doing well."

"Yeah. I'm really happy, Ashton. If you told me a couple years ago I'd be back together with him and that it would be amazing, I honestly probably would've strangled you."

He laughs, "I truly believe you would've. I wouldn't believe it either. It's crazy how much has changed."

"Right? I have no idea how we got here. It's crazy." I reply, quietly laughing. "I'm happy though. It's weird, I haven't been this happy in so long."

"And to think it's all because of the man that ruined your life a few years ago."

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding!"

"I'm not just happier because of him. My whole situation is so different now. I'm just doing better for myself. I still have the anxiety attacks like I used to, they just don't come as often and don't seem to be as bad. I haven't even thought about relapse since the last time it happened. I feel so much better now than I did then. Yeah, working things out with him definitely helped too, but I worked on myself as well. Especially in the months leading up to Luke moving here."

"That's true. I'm really proud of you. You did really well. I know it was hard but you're doing it. You're still going, right? To therapy?"

I sigh, nodding. I hate talking about it, just the mention of the word bugs me. It's still so new. It's not that I'm ashamed, I'm so glad I'm going. It's just not something I like to talk much about.

"Yeah. It's so expensive though, so I'm not going weekly like I did at first. But I'm starting at my job soon. So I can pay my own rent and keep going to therapy. God, is this what being an adult feels like?"

Ashton laughs, "I get it. I'm really proud of you, though! You've grown just as much as you say Luke has."

-

Once Ashton and I finally got up, I went to eat lunch, and now watching tv on the sofa.

There's a knock at the door, and as I get up to go answer it.

"Oh, hey, Luke. What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I just wanted to see you." He smiles.

Shaking my head at him, I laugh as he steps into the house, closing the door behind him.

"Come here." I tell him, grabbing his hand so we could go sit on the couch together.

Luke softly chuckles as sits down, pulling me close to him. "I'm so happy. I missed you."

"We had your party literally last night." I giggle, cuddling into him.

"Okay, whatever. I just wanted to see you. Is that so awful?" He laughs as he runs a hand through my hair.