Thick and Thin [l. hemmings]

thirty-two

"We haven't talked since the bridal shower. You doing okay?" Kiana asks, the two of us in her car. We were on our way for my fitting appointment.

"Oh, yeah, everything is great." I lie.

"Considering you left mid-party with Luke, I don't really believe that." She lightly chuckles.

"He says he signed the papers. I'm supposed to get them from him today." I tell her.

"Really? That's so great, Kels!"

I nod, "It is, yeah."

"Uh, shouldn't you be more excited?"

"It's just crazy it's finally happening. It's coming to an end, and I'm not as excited as I feel I should be."

"That chapter in your life is ending, I get it. It's still sad even though it's what you wanted."

It's sad because I'm in love with him. The fact I'm still in love with him after everything is sad.

"Yeah." I mumble, not wanting to think about this right now. I just want to be excited about the wedding right now.

"Here we are." Kiana mutters, parking the car.

I smile at her, the two of us leaving the car so we can enter the building. Kiana goes and talks to an employee, I'm not really listening. At this point all I can think about is Luke.

"Kels? Hey, come on." Kiana calls, waving me over.

"Hey, sorry." I force a smile, walking with them.

"They're just grabbing the dresses. There's two, we'll figure out which is best." Kiana tells me, as we stand outside my dressing room.

"Okay, yeah. Okay."

"Hey, are you sure you're okay? I'm sorry that you have to do this."

"No, Kiana, it's exciting! I'm excited to try these dresses on. I'm just a bit distracted. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry. I know you're going through some stuff. My wedding probably isn't helping anything. I shouldn't have made you do this."

"Relax, Kiana! I'm okay. I'm happy to do this. I want to do this. I'm here for you, I really am excited. I'm sorry I'm being like this. But it's okay, I've forgotten about it, it's out of my mind, I'm here for you." I tell her, smiling as the woman hangs the two dresses in the room for me.

Kiana nods, "Okay. I'm excited to see you in these dresses!"

We spent half an hour trying to decide between two dresses. Kiana couldn't decide what she wanted. The dresses were both dusty rose in colour, and they were both long. But she finally landed the second one I tried. Finally, we were able to leave.

"I'm sorry, Kels. I just- I can't make up my mind on anything for this wedding. I just want it to be great, I love him so much, you know?" Kiana says, the two of us getting into her car.

I nod, letting out a laugh, "I do know. You know, I have gotten married before. We didn't do the big celebration and it didn't end well, but I know how you're feeling right now."

"Right, sorry."

"We've apologized to each other way too much today."

"I know!" She giggles.

"Thank you for everything, though. Letting me be in the wedding, dealing with me being a nervous wreck, Luke showing up at your bridal shower was awful, me being distracted today- just- everything. Thank you."

"Stop it! All of this is okay. Stuff happens. I'm still so glad you came and that you're here. Things we're okay, right?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."