Thick and Thin [l. hemmings]

nine

Sitting in the library getting homework done were the only plans Ashton and I had for the morning until heading to work. We're seated across from each other, both of us with books spread out in front of us.

"This is the fucking worst!" Ashton groans, dropping his pencil and leaning back in his chair.

"Shh! But, yeah, I get that." I mumble, my eyes scanning over my stuff on the table in front of me.

We were getting close to midterms at this point, so it was just becoming high stress throughout the school. Ashton was struggling with what he was currently learning and he was losing it, he kept saying if he didn't know it by now he'll never get it.

"Kels, I don't want to do this." Ashton sighs, resting his head on the table.

"Neither do I, but come, bud." I laugh, reaching across the table and ruffling his hair.

He groans, sitting up, "I need to get it done. I know. I'm working."

I lightly laugh, watching him shuffle through some papers. He focuses back on his work, beginning to write stuff out again that I don't understand.

My phone vibrates and I look over at it, seeing Michael's name pop up. I smile, putting my pen down and grabbing my phone.

'Kelsey!!!!'

'This weekend'

'Let's go out of town'

I laugh, shaking my head at the texts Michael sent me.

'It's midterms, bub'

'Gotta study'

'I have some plans this weekend anyways'

'I'm sorry'

Kiana and Calum are in town this weekend. I told them I'd do my best to have lunch with them on Saturday. Michael doesn't know my friends from Seattle are coming, and I don't really want to tell him.

'Don't apologize it's okay'

'I'll see you soon'

I sigh, putting my phone on the table and picking my pen back up. Ashton looks up at me, cocking his head to the side.

"What?" I question, flipping to the next page in my textbook.

"Is something wrong?" Ashton asks, a small laugh falling past his lips.

"What? Oh, no, just Michael. Had to say no to him for this weekend." I tell him.

He gives me a confused look, before he realizes, "Kiana and Cal, right."

"Yeah, but could you maybe not tell him? He doesn't know I'm seeing them." I reply.

"Why are you hiding that from him?" He asks.

"I'm hiding this from everybody but you. I'm not trying to tell everybody about Seattle right now. I don't want them to start asking at stuff." I tell him, now feeling guilty.

"Oh, yeah, okay. I just- I think maybe you'll have to tell them at some point." He says, nervously tapping his pencil.

"I will, just- now isn't good. I need to see them first."

"I know. I get that. I do. I'm just saying." He mutters, raising his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm stressed." I sigh, resting my head in my hands.

"It's fine, Kels. Don't stress about it." Ashton replies, closing his textbook. I nod, watching him pack up his things, "Are you coming? We have work."

"Right, yeah." I mutter, beginning to pack up my things.

Ashton and I finally head out of the library, making our walk to work. It was mostly in silence, both of us more on our phones.

"Do you think it would be horrible if I didn't see Cal and Kiana when they're here?" I ask, before we head into work.

"I mean... I think you should see them. It's been a while. It might be good for you."

"But it might be so bad for me."

"Kels, listen. Sometimes you have to do things that scare you. I know you're worried about not being okay. But you'll be okay. They were your best friends. You still talk to Kiana occasionally. It's okay."

I sigh, nodding to show I understand what he means. I'm just so anxious to see them again that I'm trying to make up excuses. It's all I can think about, which is not helping me at all. It's just distracting me. I need to get this over with. Them arriving in LA couldn't come soon enough.

-

"Kelsey! I'm making dinner. Ashton and Kyle are at Jordan's place. I figured we could have dinner and have our own little study session?"

I nod, "Yeah, of course. I was coming down to eat dinner anyways."

"I mean, I only made mac and cheese, but..."

"That's great!" I smile, walking over to her as she's prepping two bowls.

"I really need to study for a midterm I have next week, so I was hoping you'd need to study too, to keep me on track." Nina laughs, handing me a bowl as the two of us go sit at the table.

"Of course I have to study. Midterms are awful." I chuckle, before the two of us begin to eat.

At first, we mostly just talk about our day. Once we've finished eating, we begin to clean up, and that's when the small talk ended.

"How are you and Michael?" She asks, running the water to wash dishes.

"Why does everybody keep asking me? Do we seem off?" I question, sitting up on the counter.

"No! I was just checking in. But is something wrong? I don't think you'd normally answer that way."

I sigh, "Nothing's wrong. But Ashton has had me all stressed about Michael ever since Ash said that Michael's in love with me."

She gasps, "Michael said he loves you?"

"No. It's just Ashton assuming. But what if he does say it, Nina? What do I do?" I ask, now panicking as she washes our dishes.

"Uh, wouldn't you just say 'I love you too' and then fuck him?" Nina questions, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, thinking the solution was simple.

"Ashton told me not to lie." I reply, looking down at my lap.

"You don't love your boyfriend?" She asks, finishing up the dishes.

"It's not like I hate him! I just- I don't think I'm there yet. I don't know." I mumble, trying to defend myself.

She sighs, "Kels, that's okay. Ashton's right. Just prepare yourself for him to say it."

I nod, "Yeah, I've been trying to."

I have been trying to prepare in case he says it. It's been hard to. No matter what he'll end up upset. The last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt Michael. So thinking about him telling me that and me not saying it back is torture to me.

"I guess we have to study now." Nina says as she put the last bowl away.

I groan, "I hate this. Midterms are too much."

She chuckles, "Same. But we both need to study. Our entire weekend will be studying."

"Oh, I don't think I'll be home most of Saturday. Got some plans." I tell her.

"With Michael?" She questions.

"No, some other friends." I quickly reply, Nina giving me a look like she doesn't believe me.

She nods, "Okay, well, let's start getting some studying done now then."

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hey. nobody is reading this. but it's the most I've cared about one of my books in a while. it's tragic, really.