Thick and Thin [l. hemmings]

fifty

There's a knock at my bedroom door that startles me from my assignment.

"Come in." I call, not looking up from my work, assuming it was Nina coming to just lay in my bed and talk with me.

When I hear Ashton clear his throat, I jump, quickly turning around. I wasn't expecting to be speaking to Ashton anytime soon. I thought he was extremely upset with me. After what happened I was waiting for him to be ready to talk to me.

"I'm ready to talk, if you are." Ashton says, closing my bedroom door behind him. After the door clicks shut, I watch him stroll to my bed, taking a seat at the edge.

"I mean, yeah. I guess so." I reply, closing my textbook and fully turning around to face him.

"Okay. So, do I have to hold back?"

"No. Go off. I can handle it." I tell him, which was mostly a lie.

"Why the fuck did you tell Michael?" He snaps, starting out this conversation.

I flinch, startled by Ashton's outburst, "Um, because he acts like every single thing is about him. I have a lot of shit going on. I needed him to understand that. We had to be honest with him, Ashton. What would've happened if I didn't miscarry? What would we have told him? Exactly, the fucking truth. Like I did."

"But you did miscarry, Kels! I'm so sorry, but he didn't have to know!"

"Why would you force me to keep it a fucking secret? What if I wanted to be open with people about it?" I question, not understanding why he's trying to be so controlling about this situation.

"You're not open about anything!"

"I'm trying to get better at it!" I exclaim.

"Your best friends don't even know you were married, Kelsey. I understand you not wanting them to know now, I guess? But, really? If Luke's coming back into your life, you'd think they should know? You literally cannot be open about anything, and it shows."

"I'm done. I'm going to be honest. They need to know about Luke. I have to tell them." I tell Ashton, standing up.

"Wait, do you want to think about this?" He asks, as if he was completely changing his mind about what he just said.

"No. I'm doing this. I have to." I tell him.

"That's not even what we were discussing!" He calls as I rush down the stairs, following after me.

Both Kyle and Nina were in the living room, I knew they were watching a movie or something.

"Are you sure?" Ashton asks, when we reach the bottom of the stairs.

Looking back at him I roll my eyes, "You wanted me to be open, no?"

Ashton just sighs, following me as I go to stand in front of Nina and Kyle.

"Nina, Kyle, we need to talk." I sigh, nervously fidgeting with my hands as I stand in front of them.

"What's up, Kels?" Kyle asks, pausing their movie.

"You might be mad-"

"I doubt it." Nina says, though a worried look now across her face.

"I've hidden a really big part of my life from you guys. The whole time you've known me."

"What?"

"If you don't want to talk to me, I get it. We're friends and I shouldn't have hid this. I had my reasons-"

"Just tell us, Kels!" Kyle lightly chuckles, though he seems worried too.

"I was married. I was married before college even started, and I only got divorced a few weeks ago. I've been married the whole time you've known me, until recently."

They both stare at me, jaws dropped, neither of them speaking.

"I'm sorry. I really am. You guys really are my best friends. I can go into detail about it if you want-"

"Was it Luke?" Nina asks, interrupting me.

I nod, "Yeah."

"How the fuck did we not know about this?" Kyle questions, completely dumbfounded.

"Why the fuck did we not know about this?" Nina adds, seeming offended.

"It wasn't that I didn't want you guys specifically to not know-"

"Did Ashton know?" She asks, interrupting me again.

"Yes, but-"

"Then I don't understand." Nina says.

"Ashton only knew because you were all gone, and came home right after I found out Luke was cheating on me. I broke down and the truth came out to Ashton. He was offended I didn't tell him, either."

"Can you blame me for being offended? I thought we were friends."

"We're best friends." I reassure her, getting more nervous.

"Are we really if I never knew you were fucking married?" She asks, clearly very upset with me.

"I was with Michael the past year, I didn't need more people to know about the marriage I was trying to end. I was never planning on telling anybody. But I love you guys and feel like I need to let you know. I feel like since you've done so much for me I shouldn't hide anything from you."

"There was the whole time before you met Michael. You could've just not pretended to be single? I just- I'll be in my room."

Nina gets up and walks off, going upstairs to her room.

"Fuck." I mutter.

"Kels?" Kyle almost whispers, speaking up.

I sniffle, "Yeah?"

"Uh, this is kind of a shock, and it kind of sucks that you didn't tell us. But, I guess I sort of understand? Especially the fact that you didn't want to tell us after you found out he cheated. I don't really get why you didn't tell us before that... but whatever."

"I'm sorry. It's my life and I just, I shared what I felt like was necessary at the time. Then the whole cheating thing, it was embarrassing."

"I'm confused, but I will do my best to understand. I hope you're doing okay, with the whole finally being divorced thing."

I shrug, "I'm okay, I guess. It's hard. He cheated, I think I still have feelings, it's a whole mess. I'm doing well, though. I am."

"Are you sure?" He questions, his eyebrows furrowed.

I let out a bitter chuckle, "I'm not sure about anything these days."

He frowns, "I'm sorry. I wish I could help."

"You are helping. You're sending me to Seattle early. I think that will help me a lot."

"A lot happened in Seattle, clearly. A lot has happened with people there. Are you sure?"

"Again, I'm not sure about anything these days."

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hi thank u for reading idk if I liked this