Thick and Thin [l. hemmings]

fifty-two

I walk into the house to cheers, mostly just Kyle and Ashton screaming. Following the noise into the kitchen, I see Ashton, Kyle and Nina taking shots at the kitchen island.

"You guys okay?" I chuckle, looking between all of them.

"We knew you'd be back from your exam, and Ashton had his last one this morning, which means we're all officially done finals!" Kyle exclaims, before taking another shot.

"So we're celebrating, I guess?"

"Obviously!" Ashton smiles, holding his hand out as he waits for Nina to pass over the joint she was smoking.

"I mean, we're going out later but we figured we would start a few hours early." Kyle explains, trying to pull himself together and pretend he's sober.

I nod, laughing at him, "I see."

"I feel bad, I wish you could join."

"It's okay, I'm gonna be packing all night. I'll be in Seattle for two weeks, so that means I'll probably bring my entire wardrobe."

"Stop overpacking!" Nina calls as I walk off. She's started acting normal towards me again. We didn't really talk about it, she sort of just got over it.

"You never know what you'll need!" I exclaim, heading upstairs to my room.

I leave my bag by my bedroom door, glad I don't have to deal with my school stuff anymore.

Pulling my luggage out from under my bed, I throw it on top of my bed. I know it's not going to be easy to fit everything in here, but I'll make it work.

As I'm starting to fold my clothes to start packing my bag, my phone rings.

"Hello?" I answer, not even checking who it was.

"Hey, Kels."

"Oh, Luke. Hi." I reply as nerves wash over me.

"I just wanted to see if you were free to talk for a bit." Luke tells me.

"Yeah, for sure." I smile as I put him on speaker so I can continue to pack clothes.

"It's strange, we haven't talked much since the divorce." He mutters. I can hear his bedsheets ruffle as he moves around, "I'm sorry, I feel like I needed to bring it up."

I stop packing and curl up in my bed, "Yeah, I know. This whole thing is so insane to me. But, I'd rather not talk about the divorce right now."

"Okay, that's fine. I understand. I'm excited to see you in a few weeks." He tells me.

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay. It's just- I'm still feeling so weird about all this. I know you probably think we're going so slow but to me this still feels like it's happening so fucking fast."

He sighs, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to rush anything. This still isn't the easiest thing to navigate."

"No it's okay, I know. It's not easy for me either." I tell him, nervously biting my lip.

"Will you be mad if I offer to pick you up from the airport when you get here in a couple weeks?" Luke questions, I can tell he's nervous when he asks.

"I wouldn't be mad, but that's Kiana's job. She already offered." I reply to him.

"Damn."

"There's plenty of time for me to see you."

"You're not here very long, Kels."

I smirk, though he can't see me. He has no idea I'll actually be there tomorrow. I'm not gonna tell him, I'll need a little time to settle.

"This is weird. I haven't talked to you in a while. We've just texted each other asking if we were okay, and that's it." Luke says

"Yeah. About that... I'm sorry. I just, I've been through a lot. I really can't talk about it right now, maybe when I get back to Seattle. I have to go, okay?" I tell him, just wanting to end this conversation. Luke knows I was pregnant, but I never told him what happened. I know I'll have to, but I'm not up to doing it over the phone.

"Oh, okay. Yeah. I'll see you soon. Really soon." He says, and I can basically hear the smile on his face.

I quietly giggle, "Bye, Luke."

Going back to my packing, now all I can think about is having to tell Kiana and Luke about the miscarriage. I probably would've been showing at this point, so it'll be the first thing brought up. I know I shouldn't have ghosted them since it happened, but I felt like I shouldn't be doing it over the phone. It felt off to me. I wanted to be able to do it in person, I know I'll get emotional talking about it.

Walking over to my closet, I take a few deep breaths to calm down before pulling out some of the clothes I'd like to bring.

There's so much stress around going back, and the wedding, and telling Luke and Kiana, and just Luke in general. It's at the point where I'm getting stressed about everything. I'm stressing out about the clothes I'm bringing. I'm stressing about having to catch my flight, and I rarely stress about flying.

"Kelsey!" I hear Ashton yell, before my bedroom door swings open.

I jump, startled by him, "Fuck, Ashton!"

"Hi." He drunkenly smiles, standing in the doorway with a drink in hand.

I lightly chuckle, "Hey."

"What's up?" He asks, standing still in his spot.

"Uh, I'm packing. You good?" I laugh, shaking my head at him.

He nods, "Yeah! I just wanna make sure you're good!"

I can't help but smile at the stupid grin across his face. You could just see in his face how drunk he was.

"Ashton, I'm doing fine. Go and enjoy yourself."

"Are you sure? You're not stressed?"

"I'm okay." I lie, since I am stressed. I don't need Ashton to constantly worry about me. I'll manage.

"Okay. Awesome. I'll see you later okay? We're gonna go to a party now before going out." Ashton tells me, as he heads toward the door.

"Uh, okay, have fun! I'll see you when I come back from Seattle." I tell him, knowing he will not be awake early enough to say bye to me in the morning.

"Oh my god, yeah! Come here!" He exclaims holding his arms out. Pulling me into a hug, he giggles, "Have so much fun, be careful. I don't trust him."

I chuckle, "I think I'll be okay. I'll call you if anything goes wrong."

"Please do. I'm going to be so worried about you."

"Don't worry. I'll definitely be in touch."

"Good. Great. Okay. I'm drunk, I'm gonna go now. Enjoy yourself, okay!"

"I will!" I call as Ashton closed my bedroom door behind him.

I lightly chuckle as I shake my head at my best friend. Sighing, I look back over to my luggage, not wanting to continue packing.

As I pack up my things, I begin to get more and more anxious. This trip isn't going to be easy for me. I'm glad I'll have Kiana picking me up from the airport so I can talk things through with her. It'll all be fine. I have nothing to worry about.

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HI HOPE IT WAS GOOD HERE WE GO SEATTLE