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(9) Passionate Viridian Envy
"Aurora, I swear this is the weirdest shit I've ever seen him do!"
The pond rippled against the blonde goddess's face as Amphitrite lowered her head near the water to get a better look at her friend.
The water portal between them trickled with galaxies of stars wired for communication as they discussed a fairly unusual problem.
"Um," Aurora scratched her neck in contemplation. "Remind me again what Poseidon is preoccupied this time?"
Amphitrite nearly let a geezer explode from the pores of her skin, "His fucking garden! He's been tending to it day and night and looks at it like a romantic soap opera! I HATE SOAP OPERAS!"
Aurora looked on in puzzlement before quietly saying, "Isn't this kind of a good thing? He found himself a hobby that keeps his mind busy and he sounds to be having fun other than partying?"
Hands swam through the air like dolphins as Amphitrite widely expressed her distress, "I know, I know. But it shouldn't keep his mind so busy that he forgets about his fucking wife."
The sea goddess's eyebrows crunched together as she scrutinized the portal. "Plus it's not necessarily the garden that I'm upset about. It's what he's mainly attention too in it."
"Oh?" Now this caught Aurora's attention. "What does he plant? Fruits? Flowers? Vegetables-"
"Derkylos the Zucchini."
Silence plunged around them. Suddenly the birds squeaked to a stop and even the earth worms in the ground stopped crawling. The portal looked like it froze from how still Aurora was.
"Derk- Jerk? Zucchini? What..?"
Amphitrite signed as she pushed back into the chair she was sitting in. "My competition to my husband's heart. It's name is Derkylos the Zucchini," came her mumbled reply.
Aurora quickly curled her lips inwards for fear her friend might hear her chortle at her dejection. "And, so- this Derkylos," A tanned hand slapped across her mouth to keep anything but words from trickling out. "It's what's keeping Poseidon so busy? And it's a zucchini..."
"Yup." The "p" popped in her dejected response.
Aurora hummed. "Basically your husband is having an affair with a vegetable."
"Ugh!" Amphitrite sighed as she looked onto the horizon of the sea. "Now l'm making it sound like it's such a crisis because I'm jealous of some stupid herb."
Aurora didn't want to agree but she agreed. In her mind. There was no time for her to be drowned in coral these days anyway.
"Have you spoken to him about it?"
With that question came a scoff, "I've wanted to but, oh! Big surprise, he is tending to his precious Derkylos..."
Aurora didn't mean for the laugh bubbled up in her throat to come out. Honest. It just- wanted to make itself known to the world from hiding for the last twenty minutes.
Amphitrite looked unimpressed as her friend threw her head back in a loud cackle. Some consolation session this was...
"I'm- Hah! I'm sorry! It's just that this-" She gestured between them. "Is too hilarious! Poseidon is actually so fixated on a green that you became jealous over! Oh, brilliant!"
"Har-har. I'm dying of laughter." Came the deadpanned voice of Amphitrite. Aurora giggled momentarily before offering some words. "Why not share your- ahem- grievances," A rotten giggle tore up her throat.
"To Poseidon and just rip the bandaid."
Amphitrite huffed, "How am I even going to word it to him? He will surely make fun of me for my feelings towards his hobby."
"Ask what makes Derkylos so special." She advised. Though after saying the name, Aurora fell back into her bed and held a pillow over her head to suppress any unwanted sounds.
The sea goddess rolled her eyes as another wave of laughter rippled the pond water. "Ok, I'll leave these concerning thoughts with you. Bye-bye now."
A bellowing laugh was cut off as she shut down the communication portal. Maybe Aurora was right. It would be a good idea to just ask Poseidon what was so special about that zucchini.
Hm.
Later on that day, Amphitrite entered their shared bedroom only to stop at a unique smell.
The aroma of walnuts and cinnamon permeated the air like a summers breeze on a cliff side. It made Amphitrite take a see breathe in and relax.
It was then she noticed the other person in the room.
Poseidon looked sheepish as he stood in front of the large table in their room. Was that an apron he had on?
He smiled gently at her. "Hi, Amphi."
Her previous sour mood evaporated at the adorably awkward God's fidgeting. She strolled closely towards him, letting her hips do the talking as his eyes watched it like a tennis match. Once she reached him, she pawed his toga with mischief, "Hi, Donny. What have you been up to?"
The question itself made him nervous, evidence being how his eyes would look anywhere but her own and the slight tremble of his body. "Just, going places here and there."
She bummed and enclosed her arms around his neck. "Have you tended to your garden recently?" He smelled of earth and dew, a slight contrast to his usual cologne of salt and freshwater.
He chuckled nervously, "Hm, yeah! Actually I wanted to show you something. You remember Derkylos, right."
Gods just it's name made her turn off. Back to the sour, vengeful wife she goes.
"How could I forget him..." She said stiffly. Poseidon didn't notice and kept on going with his conversation.
"Well, I've been spending a lot of time prepping him for this moment. And I hope you enjoy it because I've been thinking about this for a while."
Oh Gaia. Amphitrite's face went pale like a sick guppy. He wasn't going to suggest using Derkylos as a sex toy for the bedroom, right?!
She pushed away from him to look at him closely.
Nervousness coated his irises and dread punched Amphitrite's intestines. Oh Chaos save her from this horrid scene.
Poseidon took a deep breath and side stepped from the table. The walnut and cinnamon smell wafted strongly up her nose as she focused on what was on the table.
It was a loaf of bread. On the platter, was a loaf of bread that didn't really seem like the usual color of bread.
"Is that-"
"Yes." He stated quite proudly. "I made you zucchini bread!"
Amphitrite didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. Truly thinking herself foolish for getting envious over some vegetable and so full of love for the silly man for going the extra mile in making this for her.
She launched herself into his arms, which made him stumble backwards and onto the bed where they slammed their lips together. Pouring all of her love between them, she reached out to unbuckle his clasps on his attire and Poseidon wriggled his eyebrows.
"I take it you like the gift?"
"I love the thought behind it," She purred.
Amphitrite also didn't have the heart to tell Poseidon that she was allergic to zucchini. But she was sure his mind would be preoccupied with other things in the next hour other than his baked dish.
All good it was.
And Thanatos was a bit worried when his wife couldn't stop laughing while mumbling the words "Derk" and "Zucchini".
