Stucky oneshots

I Never Told You

I don't like this one but maybe you will?

I miss those blue eyes
How you kissed me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

Bucky laid awake on the hardwood floor in his room. He sighed, remembering how Steve used to sleep on the floor too since neither of them liked how soft their mattresses were. How Steve used to come in and sleep on the floor beside him after he heard Bucky screaming from a nightmare. How they didn't get enough time together to even talk about what they were.

Sure they were a couple before and during the war, but in secret, of course. Then the train, and Bucky was brainwashed, then went to Wakanda to recover. Then they got a short amount of time living together before Steve went back in time and, for reasons unknown to Bucky, lived an entirely different life and returned to the current time as an old man.

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you
I can't believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

He restlessly rolled over, shoving his pillow away angrily and laying his head on the cool wood. Why didn't he tell Steve he still loved him earlier? Why did Steve go back in time and live a different life? Was Bucky not enough for him now? Evidently not.

They'd been through hell together, for each other, and it was all for nothing. Steve was gone now, not the same as he used to be. And Bucky didn't tell him how much he still loved him after all this time.

I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to when I'm not around you
It's like I'm not with me

He squeezed his eyes shut and saw Steve, looking up at him in the thirties when they were at Coney Island. His bright blue eyes made Bucky just about kiss him on the spot. He couldn't, of course; they would've been beaten.

He rolled over again, groaning in frustration as he rubbed his eyes. Once again, he pictured Steve with those damn blue eyes, looking at him like he was the only person in the world.

He opened his eyes again and remembered Steve was gone. Their relationship was gone. He didn't even know who he was without Steve. He had no idea what life was supposed to be like without him.

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you
I can't believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

Why didn't I tell him I still loved him as soon as I recovered? I bet we could've still lived out our lives together. He internally screamed, pulling on his newly cut hair.

It didn't matter now. The fights they pulled each other out of, the fights they got into for each other, the love, the memories, the good times and the bad, none of it mattered anymore. Bucky would never see those blue eyes when he woke up in the morning, never hear his laugh, or be on the receiving end of a rant from him again. And he missed all of it. He missed Steve with ever fiber of his being.

And he never told him he still loved him. Not that Steve would've still loved him back, Bucky was sure of that much now. But he couldn't help himself, he loved Steve Rogers and would never stop. Even if Steve didn't love him back. Even if Steve went back in time to live a life with a ghost, Bucky couldn't help it.

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
After all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you
But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never..., told you

He slammed his fist against the ground before rolling back over, closing his eyes again. He didn't speak up and now Steve was gone. All Bucky had now were memories that proved to bring nothing but pain.