Stucky oneshots

Safe Word

"Hey baby." Steve smirked, getting in bed beside Bucky and turning off the bedside light.

"Hi there." Bucky smiled at him as Steve pulled him in for a kiss. The couple continued kissing, becoming more intense and passionate.

Steve began moving down, kissing Bucky's neck as his hands found their way to the hem of his boxers. Bucky wasn't sure why since they'd done this hundreds of times before, but he was suddenly uncomfortable and having Hydra flashbacks.

"Steve-I-...Falcon. Falcon! I-I'm sorry." He panted, Steve immediately stopping and sitting up.

"Hey, you're okay. It's okay. What's going on?" He asked worriedly, turning the light back on.

Bucky began having a panic attack, feeling bad for making Steve stop but also feeling his trauma resurfacing. He tugged on his hair as he hyperventilated, feeling like he was unable to get enough air.

"Buck, you're okay. You're safe." Steve reassured him, not sure how to proceed yet, as Bucky's panic attacks were different. Sometimes he needed touch and cuddles and other times, he needed space and silence.

"I-Steve, I can't-I can't breathe. I-there's not enough air and I-I'm dying. I can't-no air." He gasped desperately, tears streaming down his cheeks now.

"Hey, yes you can. You're okay. Inhale slowly. There's air in here, okay? Can I touch you?" He asked gingerly.

Bucky shook his head 'no' fervently. "No-just-I...don't. Please don't. I'm sorry, it's...I-"

"Okay, okay. It's alright, okay? Hey, look at my phone, okay?" Steve instructed, pulling up the breathing video Bruce had recommended to help calm down from panic attacks and putting the phone in front of Bucky.

Bucky watched the video and tried to get his breathing back to normal. After nearly 10 minutes, he was mostly calmed down. He was breathing a bit quick still but it was much better than before.

He looked at Steve, sitting a few feet away and watching with concern, and broke down in sobs. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, sweetheart. Can I touch you now? Or do you still need some space?" He asked, wishing to just cradle Bucky in his arms but knowing it could be potentially counterproductive.

Bucky didn't answer, instead he reached his arms towards Steve in response.

Steve took the hint and swiftly took Bucky in his arms. He rocked them slightly back and forth, shushing him softly. "It's okay. You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? You're safe."

"I-it just felt like-like I was at Hydra again and-and I don't know why because w-we've had sex lots of times and I've been okay! But this time it, all I could think of was-was their hands on me and-and not yours and I felt uncomfortable and vulnerable. I-I wasn't safe." He explained between ragged breaths as he tried to calm down.

Steve kissed his temple, continuing to rock them. "Thank you for telling me. You did the right thing using the safe word, okay? I never want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or unsafe. I'm so proud of you for safe wording."

"You're not mad or-or frustrated?"

"Of course not, honey." He squeezed him reassuringly. "What do you need right now? Do you want some water, a snack, more cuddles, space? You tell me."

"Water and cuddles." He whispered, burying his face in Steve's neck for comfort.

Steve got up, carrying Bucky with him, and went to the kitchen for water. He set Bucky on the counter, standing between his legs, and handed him a water bottle.

When he was done, Bucky set the bottle aside and leaned back into Steve.

"Wanna go to bed?" Steve asked softly, rubbing his back soothingly. Bucky nodded and Steve carried him to their room.

They got in bed, Bucky now on Steve's chest, and Steve rubbed his back until he heard snoring. He felt bad about what had happened but knew it wasn't either of their fault. But on the bright side, Bucky used the safe word to make him stop. It was progress.