Stucky oneshots

I'm Sorry

Bucky felt anxious. Sad, even. He wasn't sure why, it just happened sometimes. Usually when it happened, he went to Steve for comfort. Whether it was just cuddles or small reassurances throughout the day, Steve always made him feel better somehow.

But today was different. Today Steve was stressed and trying to plan a mission for the next week since Fury had bigger things going on.

"Son of a bitch!" Steve groaned at the table, where he had a spread of papers and plan drafts laid out. The outburst made Bucky flinch from his spot on the couch, unbeknownst to Steve.

"You okay?" Bucky asked nervously, afraid Steve would be upset with him for asking.

"Just trying to plan how to singlehandedly save a country. Please be quiet, it's a lot to think about." Steve snapped impatiently with his head in his hands.

Bucky wanted to cry. Of course he couldn't sit quietly. Of course he had to disrupt Steve. "S-sorry." He spoke at an almost inaudible volume.

Bucky remained silent and unmoving for hours, fearing he'd make Steve mad again if he got up or made any noise. But then he realized it was 7:30 and neither had eaten since breakfast. Steve wouldn't get mad if he offered him food, right?

He quietly got up and walked to the kitchen, seeing Steve still staring at his papers. "Are you hungry? I can make something if you want, or I can get takeout. You haven't eaten since breakfast."

Steve sighed heavily and his hand slammed against the table as it slid away from his head, the sound making Bucky flinch again. "No, I'm not hungry Bucky. But thank you for the reminder of my last meal."

And Bucky wanted to cry yet again. "I'm sorry."

Steve huffed in response, going back to his work as Bucky hurried out of the room. Why couldn't he do anything right? He sat quiet all day but it wasn't good enough. He tried to be helpful but it wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough.

He laid down on his and Steve's bed and held in his tears as best he could. He eventually fell into a light sleep, only to be woken up by Steve.

"Why aren't you under the blankets, Bucky? Kinda hard to get in bed when you're laying on everything." Steve teased lightly, his frustration faded from earlier as he had come up with a decent plan.

Bucky's feelings were not faded at all however, and the teasing was the straw that broke the camel's back. "I-I'm sorry, okay?!"

Steve was confused, he hadn't realized how bad Bucky had felt all day and how much worse he'd made it. "What?"

"I know I'm not good enough and I can't do anything right! I'm sorry and I've said sorry all day for it! Please just kick me out or leave me already because I can't take the suspense of the inevitable!" Bucky yelled, upset and feeling lower than he had in a long time.

"Bucky, What are you talking about? The only inevitable in our relationship is that it will last forever." Steve tried only for Bucky to begin sobbing and shaking his head.

"I'm stupid and disruptive and annoying and I'm sorry! I'm not good enough for you and I never was and I never will be! I'm useless and worthless and people pity me. You don't really love me, it's just pity!" He wailed, curling in on himself for any comfort he could find.

"Bucky, that's not true." Steve started, sitting on the bed beside him.

"Yes it is! Stop lying, please!" Bucky continued to cry.

"James Buchanan Barnes, it is not true." Steve spoke firmly with compassion in his voice. "You are smart and handsome and funny and far from annoying. You have worth and purpose and I don't pity you, I love you. I love you and the way you smile. The way you make me laugh and think and just everything about you. The way your face scrunches up when I turn the light on in the morning. How you make every day better. Everything."

"You didn't think so earlier!" Bucky sobbed, still not looking at or touching Steve. "Earlier I was just an annoyance."

Then Steve realized the part he played in his man's misery. "Oh Buck, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to take my stress out on you and I really didn't mean to make you feel so bad. I'm so very sorry, baby, I love you. I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at me and I projected it on you. I'm sorry."

Bucky breathed shakily, looking at Steve slowly. "Are you sure? You sounded mad and I was being annoying and interruptive."

"No you were not. You were trying to help me and I was a jerk about it. I hope you can forgive me, honey, I'm so very sorry."

"I...it wasn't just you." Bucky sniffled, his eyes no longer meeting Steve's.

"Were you feeling low today again?" Steve asked gently, knowing about Bucky's low days and the extra attention he needed on those days.

"Yeah."

"Shit, baby I'm sorry. I should've been there to help you, not make you feel worse."

Bucky finally leaned into Steve, resting against his chest. "I forgive you, but please don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere, jerk."

Bucky smiled slightly. "Okay punk."