Come Back With Me

I Hope I'm In Your Dreams

Bucky has been on the ship for a full three days and the pain of missing Lizzie is still there. He has had some distraction when talking to the people in his company but whenever he is alone, she never leaves his mind.

He went looking for a photo of her that he brought with him but he can't find it anywhere in his bag. He takes all of his belongings out to look for it. He doesn't know what he'd do if he forgot it or lost it.

He ends up finding it at the bottom of his bag and he releases a sigh of relief and sits down on the the edge of his bunk.

He also notices something in his bag that he definitely didn't put in there.

He pulls out an envelope that is fairly heavy and opens it. He pulls out the piece of paper in it but something clatters to his lap.

It's Lizzie's necklace that he gave her for Christmas so many years ago. This necklace is so important to her that she never takes it off but now it's in Bucky's hands.

Upon further examination, that's not all. Attached to the chain of the necklace is his future wedding ring that she bought him.

He opens the letter with shaky hands.

My Dearest Jaime,

I know you've probably been on the ship at least a couple days because you have the worst habit of living out of your bag so I know it will take you awhile to find this at the bottom of your pack. You should really unpack or you'll constantly be unable to find your things.

In this envelope, I have left to you my necklace and your ring. Now you have to come back because that necklace is quite important to me you know. The love of my life made me that necklace.

I hope that this can be a small physical reminder of me when your following days get rough. Whenever you get scared or stressed, I want you to hold onto that necklace and think of me. Think of how much I love you and how I am always, always in your corner.

I hope I'm in your dreams because you are always in mine.

Forever yours,
Ellie

He feels a lump grow in his throat at the thought of her.

She really does think of everything.

He takes the necklace and throws it on so it rests near his dog tags. He immediately follows her instructions and grips onto the necklace and thinks of her. It doesn't make him miss her any less but it does help focus him. She's the reason he's going to fight so hard. Thinking of her, gives him the strength to keep going.

They're supposed to land in England sometime tomorrow and he was terrified. Not only was he scared for his own life but he was also supposed to lead.

How is he supposed to lead a group of scared men when he is scared himself?

He's hoping that Ellie's memory will keep him going in his darkest moments.

"What you got there, Bucky?" Dum Dum asks.

He flops down on his bunk that is adjacent to Bucky's.

"It's a letter from Lizzie," Bucky explains.

Dum Dum has been given the rundown on who Lizzie is on multiple occasions so he knows her name. He also knows that the Sergeant is very much enamored with the girl. The way he talks about her you'd think she walks on water.

"Oh yeah? Say anything... enticing?" Dum Dum asks scandalously.

It takes Bucky a moment to realize what Dum Dum is alluding to. Usually he would get offended but he knows Dum Dum is just trying to cheer him up in his own strange way.

"No, it's not that kind of letter. I don't think I could imagine Lizzie writing anything improper down," Bucky says with a laugh.

"What she have to say then?" Dum Dum pries.

Bucky doesn't want to share what Lizzie said but he also wants someone to talk to about her.

"She just gave me some advice for the upcoming days," Bucky explains.

"Yeah, like what?" Dum Dum asks.

Bucky hesitates because he is embarrassed to admit that he is scared.

"Come on, I'm your second in command. Don't I deserve some wisdom from the great Lizzie Rogers?" Dum Dum asks.

"Well, I doubt it will be all that helpful to you but she told me that when I'm scared or stressed to think of her," Bucky admits.

"I've seen a picture of your girl, I don't think I'd mind thinking about her when I'm stressed," Dum Dum says.

If Bucky didn't already respect Dugan so much he might have hit him for that comment.

Dum Dum sees that he's struck a nerve and is quick to defend himself.

"Kidding, kidding," Dum Dum says.

The pair lapse into silence for a moment. Bucky looks around the room and sees that it's nearly empty and it's only other occupants are far out of ear shot.

"Are you scared?" Bucky asks.

Dum Dum doesn't even hesitate before answering.

"Of course, every last one of us is scared. Just because we're officers, it doesn't mean we're fearless, Bucky," Dum Dum says.

Bucky releases a sigh of relief at his statement. He needed to know that it's okay for him to be scared.

"I feel like I have to put on a front in order to lead," Bucky says.

"You do, we all do. If we don't shove back that fear we will never survive. Just because we act in spite of fear doesn't mean we still aren't scared," Dum Dum says.

That advice makes a lot of sense to Bucky. He can be scared, he just can't let it paralyze him.

"Maybe you should be the Sergeant and I should be the corporal," Bucky teases.

"Nah, corporal is already too much responsibility. You can keep your fancy titles and the harder job," Dum Dum says.

Bucky can't help but laugh at his statement.

The following months will be horrible but at least he'll be in good company.