Mcyt -autistic- oneshots

Sand before the restaurant (Jack and Phil+Wilbur)

Jack's POV:

A group of the British lot on the dream smp had organised to meet up again down in Brighton. Instead of vlogging it, we were going to have a beach day and then eat at this new restaurant that had just opened. Don't get me wrong, I was excited for it. But I find group social situations relatively difficult, let alone out in public. I like sand, but I like sand a little too much and most of the time find it difficult to leave beaches. I don't know specifically what it is about it, but it just makes me feel happy and balanced. Then there was the restaurant. I like eating at restaurants, and I'm not a picky eater. I'm what I describe as an anxious eater. I'll eat pretty much anything, but I get really anxious about trying new foods, for the possibility that I won't like something. All 3 of those issues stem from the fact that I'm autistic. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, after my computing teacher told me he was autistic and thought I might be too. Everyone on the smp knew I was autistic, but no one really knew what it meant. I've grown very good at masking over my relatively short life, and so not many of my online friends really understood it. Wilbur was probably the only one, because I had known him the longest. But when it came to the dynamic of the group, Phil was most definitely the Dad, and so I talked to him about it all.

Phil's POV:

A couple days before we were all due to head down to Brighton, I got a discord message from Jack asking if I could join a call. A little confused, but with absolutely nothing to do, I agreed, joined and said hey.

"Oh hey Phil. Look so you know about me being autistic. Well, it means group social situations are quite difficult, and I like sand, but like really like sand. And I'm nervous about going to the new restaurant because it will be new, and I don't really like new things, and I'm scared I won't like any of the food. Or that anyone we are with isn't going to be accepting of me being weird with everything. And I need someone to know all this so that if I get really upset or stressed or overwhelmed, at least person can help me and won't be confused."

"Whoa, Jack, take a breath. It's fine. No one is going to be funny about it and if they are, Wilbur is bound to punch them in the face. He's already said to me that he was going to find a time to talk to you to ask if there was anything we could do as a group. So I might as well ask you now?"

"Ask me what?"

"Is there anything we, as a group, can do so that you can enjoy the day just as much as everyone else?"

"I don't think so, Will knows how to calm me down because he's good at that anyway. So as long as he's around, it will be okay. But I guess people should just ask questions about things they might not understand, and just accept that I do some weird things?"

"Yea, that sounds great. And after that, I have a question. What do you mean exactly, about really liking sand?"

"You know how autistic people often have sensory issues. Like loud noises or strong smells. Well that's called sensory avoidance. There's another side to it called sensory seeking, and my brain works more like that. It means I like having, constant sensory input, so I find ways to get that. It's more of a need than a want. When I stream, I have this textured matting on the floor under my desk, and I rub my feet on it. It helps me concentrate better. Sand is something that I've always sought out, ever since I was a baby. But I never like going away from it or putting it away, and I know it sounds disgusting but if I really need the sensory input, I've eaten sand before. And not just when I was little, I did it last Tuesday. I know it's not socially acceptable and everyone is going to think I'm disgusting for doing it, but it's just sort of how my brain works. And I'm kind of scared I might do that, because I really don't want to, but I'm going to be nervous anyway, which means it's more likely to happen."

"If that what happens, then that's what happens, okay? It may suck but it's you Jack, and you shouldn't be ashamed of being yourself."

"I know, it just makes me feel like a kid because someone basically has to rip my hands away from my mouth and give me something else to chew on, like you would with a baby or something."

"We'll make sure no one treats you like a baby and if it helps, we can make sure your sat next to me or Will. And that's not because we need to look after you, it's so you don't have to be as anxious."

"Yea, that would be great thanks. But what do I do about the restaurant?"

"Hang on, Will sent me a link for their website, I'm pretty sure it had a menu on it. I'll send it to you, you could think of a list of things you might want and then actually decided on the day."

"Thanks, Phil. I should be doing this myself, but the year I was supposed to start planning like this for myself, was also the year when none of us could plan anything."

"It's fine Jack. You're still quite young, and Covid has been stressful for everyone."

"Oh, that's another thing. I, umm, I can't wear a mask. Well I can, but only for like 5 minutes, and it just causes a sensory overload. I may be a sensory seeker, but I seek inputs I can handle. And I can't handle a mask on my face."

"That's fine. You're exempt under the government guidelines and everything, and none of us are going to have a problem with it because we are all testing."

"Yea, and I've found things I'll eat. Or I'll probably eat them."

"Great. And do you want me to let Will know about all of this or would you rather tell him?"

"No thanks Phil, you can tell him. Thank you though. And thanks for this and calming me down about the whole thing."

"You're welcome mate. It's the least I can do."

Time skip to the day of the meet up:

Jack's POV:

Even though Phil had calmed me down about the whole situation, I woke up that morning feeling really anxious and a little overwhelmed. Neither of which were great combined with the fact we were going to the beach, and I didn't want sand anywhere near my mouth. Still, I grabbed my backpack, and headed to the train station, sunflower lanyard with a chew attached to it, round my neck. It showed I was mask exempt, and it worked because no one on the train questioned why I wasn't wearing a mask. I managed to find my way to one of the beach entrances where we had organised to meet up, but I was the first one there so I got my ear buds out and started listening to my favourite song, on repeat. Niki was next and she said hi, and we started talking, me desperately trying to mask as much as possible because I just wanted to hang out with my friends today and not have to have them take care of me. I took off the lanyard and shoved it into the bottom of my backpack. Slowly more and more people arrived, and once pretty much everyone was there, we headed down to the beach to find an area to sit down.

Phil and Wilbur were late because Phil was dropping off his bag's at Wilbur's house. We were both staying there, but I had chosen to keep my bags on me. I only had a backpack anyway, and I needed most of the stuff in it for the day anyway. That made me anxious, whilst I knew Phil had told all of them because he had done it in the discord group for today's meet up, I trusted Phil, Wilbur and Niki the most. And Phil hadn't told them the whole thing about the whole eating sand thing, so Niki didn't know. I started to bite my finger nails and shuffle my toes about in my shoes. I was well aware to the fact that the minute we sat down, I would start touching and playing with the sand and before I knew it, it would be in my mouth. There still wasn't much sign of Phil and Will either.

Members of our groups were setting down towels and picnic blankets. I left my ear buds in, dumped my backpack in a space round the circle they were creating and walked down towards the water. I didn't say anything, but I probably should have said something, because otherwise they might have been worried about me. It felt like a long time had passed, and I hadn't really calmed down. Then, I felt breathing on my neck.

A/n Hey. I didn't mean for this to be a cliffhanger, but I want to keep the chapters similar sizes if I can. Thank you so much for reading, be sure to let me know what you think. Thank you if you are one of those people who is reading this, right now, like early on, when I'm writing these, I really appreciate it. Hope you have a great day. Hope you enjoyed reading.

Thank you,

Tag