I just want to be me (Ranboo and Tubbo)

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A/n Hey. So something that I don't think any of you know about me. I have tics. Currently in the process of being officially diagnosed with Tourette's but every doctor we've seen so far have said that's what I have. They started during the summer holidays and have only got worse. My tics are pretty bad. And to be perfectly honest with all of you, they are exhausting. I come home from school with a sore throat and every muscle in my body being sore. This is vent fic, because I need it at the moment.

Most of the kids have been really great about them, I've had a few problems, (also with teachers) but I've been really lucky. I don't swear, I never have done. But my tics do. And my tics do a lot. That's tough. And what you are about to read explains kind of how I feel. Please comment to let me know what you think, and enjoy!

TW- tics (yes, as a person with tics, this can be useful, I have picked up tics before and I'm keen not to again)

Ranboo's POV:

Covid was a pretty stressful time for me. It was some of my most important years in school, and I became a full time streamer. It was a lot going on. And a lot of change of routine, which -being autistic- was a nightmare. My mind was already messed up and I could barely look at myself some days, but I was getting on with it. In fact, I was just fine until I went to England.

It was supposed to be fun. And for a little bit it was. And for said little bit, I masked. I was having fun, seeing people and doing some really cool things. In fact, I was the happiest I had been for around 2 years. But one day I woke up, and my entire world changed. 

My neck felt sore. It was weird. I was sort of aware of the fact I was moving a lot more than usual, and that when I did move it, it wasn't exactly me doing it. But I tried to ignore it. Later, in the evening, Tubbo and I decided to get take-out and sat at on the couch, watching a movie whilst eating it.

"Ding dong." I went bright red, and tried to work out what on earth was happening to me. It was like it wasn't me saying it.

"What?"

"Nothing." I shoved another mouthful of food in my mouth, and trying to carry on like nothing had happened.

"No, you said something. What did you say?"

"Nothing. Let's just watch the movie." He gave me a confused look and then seemed to forget about it.

Luckily, apart from my neck moving a lot, I didn't say anything weird until later. We were washing up the dishes. Tubbo was washing and I was drying. Whilst looking at Tubbo washing up, waiting for another dish to dry, I said, "drink it. Go on, drink it!" It was probably a reference to the dirty sink water.

"Drink what?"

"No, nothing sorry. Just a bad joke, don't worry about it. I'm tired can you do the dishes tonight, thanks. Okay night!" I tried walking out the kitchen.

"Ranboo, stop! Did you mean to say it?"

"No, it just happened. Like my brain just said it, not me." My neck cracked back again.

"Did you mean to do that as well? Crack your neck back like that?"

"No." I said through tears as I crumbled before him.

"Come here." He hugged me tightly. "It's alright, I promise we'll fix it."

"I don't think we can fix it Tubs."

"Then we'll help it. Or we'll find the answer to our question and answer everyone else's questions. Whatever happens, I'll do it with you okay?"

"I don't know why they happen, they just do. They started this morning. My neck is really hurting."

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