Accepted by my family pt.2 (Niki and so many people)

303 10 19
                                    

TW- swearing

Wilbur's POV:

Trust me to mess things up again. Still, I calmed myself down when I gave Niki her promised hug at the other end and we began the walk to the air bnb. It wasn't too long and for once it wasn't raining, so it wa alright. James had offered to get us a taxi, but Niki had asked to walk. I knew what she was doing. She was delaying getting to the house, delaying having to tell everyone. And I didn't blame her. I knew what that feeling was like. It feels like it swallows you and navigates your every move.

Eventually we reached the house and knocked on the door. I couldn't miss how Niki practically tried to hide herself behind James. "WILBUR, MY MAN! JAMES, HELLO KING. NIKI, THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED!" Tommy screamed as he opened the door.

"Hey king, can we come in?" I asked.

We dropped our bags in the hallway in the massive pile that was forming, and then went into the lounge. I could tell Niki was apprehensive, but she still went round saying hello to everyone and hugging all those who wanted one. They only person who wasn't there yet was Jack, who had missed his train and would be here in a few hours.

I didn't know when Niki wanted to tell everyone but I presumed it would be soon. If I was her, I wouldn't want to have it sitting in my brain, worrying me. I'd want to get it out of the way and enjoy my time with friends. And if anyone had an issue, they'd be kicked it out and told not to come back. I'd do it myself if I had to.

We wanted to go out for dinner, but decided to go out later so that Jack could come with us. In the mean time, one group began watching Inside for the 50 billionth time (mostly at the request of Tommy) and another group started a game on monopoly. I ended up watching Inside in the end, but it sounded like Niki was a fearsome businesswoman at monopoly. James was playing too, so I just let myself not worry for a second.

I knew Niki was still Niki, autistic or not. But I knew how frustrating, anxiety-inducing and even tiering it can be to mask autism. I mean I don't personally get it, but I've watched videos and searched up a lot of stuff about it. Tommy mentioned autistic masking once and he's not autistic but he said he related to some of it. Turned out, I did too. Neurotypical people do it on a minute and pathetic level, but we do it. And if you easily submit to social pressure, you do it too. But autistic masking isn't just hiding the bits about you that you don't like or that you think people will find annoying. Autistic masking is like pretending to be a different person. Well, that's if we're trusting google here.

Time skip:

Niki's POV:

We were walking back from dinner. And the few of us that had decided to drink, stumbled back. The mood was light and happy and a part of me didn't want to ruin it. But I knew I just wouldn't be able to sleep that night if I didn't say anything. I just didn't know if I would be able to do my little finger flicks when Wilbur did something stupid again. James hadn't said anything rude, but even him acknowledging one of my stims had sent me overthinking. My subconscious sucks.

Tommy had decided to put some music on, and after getting drinks, we all ended up sat down in the living room. It was a nice atmosphere, just chilling and having a good time. I sat with Aimsey who is super cool and very kind. Wilbur kept giving me looks across the room, looks that desperately tried to encourage me to speak up. Eventually I built up the courage.

"Hey, Tommy can you turn off the music?"

"Yea sure," he said, running over to his phone on the other side of the room. Everyone looked up at the music suddenly stopping.

"So hey. I kind of wanted to tell you something." I looked out at everyone, all those eyes. They petrified me. James gave a comforting smile and a nod, so I continued talking, "recently I've been doing loads of research and I now know why I am, the way I am." I found myself stuttering on the all important sentence, like I couldn't get any words out. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and tried again, "I'm pretty sure I'm autistic and I'm going to try getting a diagnosis for it." 

Silence, complete silence.

"That's awesome Niki," Ranboo said, getting up and hugging me tightly. And soon everyone was doing that same, giving me affirmation followed by a hug. The only person left was Jack, but I couldn't see him in the room anymore.

I walked over to Wilbur who gave me a quick hug before looking at me properly and realising there was still panic on my face, "what's up?"

"Jack."

"Where is he? What's he done?"

"I don't know, I don't know where he is or how he feels or-"

"Hey, it'll be fine. Maybe he just went to take a sh-t?" Wilbur smiled at me goofily, but I was still nervous.

The front door slammed close, I looked at Will. No one goes outside to go to the toilet. "I'll call him okay?" I nodded, going back to talking to Aimsey as he left the room. They were so cool and we talked about autism and ADHD until Wilbur came back. He had a smile on his face.

"It's fine Niki, Jack has gone to get cake to celebrate. He wanted to surprise you."

"What is it with you guys and walking off before you let me know it's okay!" I said, half laughing but also quite frustrated.

"RIGHT! Niki, you can choose the movie to put on," Tommy said, handing me the tv remote. It ended with me putting the Temple Grandin movie on. It was interesting and informative (even if the information was a little outdated) and probably the best female autistic representation I have found. And to this day, still one of my favourite movies to watch. Sometimes it's just nice to see yourself on screen. Representation matters.

Once Jack arrived back with a mountain of cake, we all watched it. It was cool to see them enjoy the movie and it opened up some conversations where people could ask questions. It was one of the best nights of my life. The night one of my families accepted me for the person I was. The first night for as long as I could remember, where I didn't feel the need to be someone else. AND I LOVED IT!

A/n Hey, thank you for all the support on everything. This is something I wrote ages ago and just didn't post, but I hope you enjoyed it! It was actually super cool to get to write female representation of autism (as a female) considering so many mcyt's in this book are male. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. 

Again, I'm not posting here regularly so if you want to make sure you never miss an update on this book, be sure to follow; I really appreciate stuff like that. Also, I get my exam results tomorrow and I am big stress right now, so any words of encouragement would be super helpful! Okay, I'm blabbering, bye, thank you.

Thank you Technoblade for all the moments you gave to the awesome artists to animate and draw and paint and create with. Animatics have always filled me with so much joy, and you were often so integral to it all. 

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