The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Fluidity. 26

Emilia

Once the boys were past the Red Wings they seemed to be playing a lot better. That game seven was a boost and they were looking unstoppable once again. Jon was playing great and he tries to get us out for every home game now. Our lives been a little hectic but I enjoyed the chaos. Made for good memories.

Today was a rare off day, there was no game and no practice. The baseball teams were away and the city of Chicago was quiet for once. As the temperature gets warmer more people flee into the city. They were ready to visit the beach, go stand on pieces of American history, watch thier favorite team try and win a Stanley cup again. There was endless possibilities here in the Windy City so we decided to let the kids choose where our paths lead us today.

"Alright kiddos, what's the plans for today" I ask as I place everyone's plates in front of them. We made a nice little breakfast this morning and didn't really have plans for once.

"Can we go to the pier" Jasmine asks.

"I want to go to the museum of science and industry" Kenny cheers.

"Alright. How about we go to the pier, have some lunch, then go to the museum before coming home" I suggest.

"I want ice cream" Jonathan adds as I roll my eyes. I thought I was helping out two kids here, not three.

"Alright. We will grab some ice cream on the way home" I giggle.

After breakfast we clean up and we do a little karaoke. Summer is a time for fun, for kids to be away from school and free to let their minds wander. I am a teacher but I know that right now these kids don't need lessons. They don't need to dissect everything or to learn from everything. It can just be mindless fun.

We finally get to the pier and we let the kids go on the Ferris wheel. It was huge and it took a while to get around giving Jon and I some alone time. So we find a table at the bottom as we wait for the kids to join us once again.

"Do you think Jasmines mom will come back for her any time soon" Jonny wonders and I sigh.

"I honestly don't think so, no. She seemed really tired at the parent teacher confrence. I believe that if I said I couldn't take her in they would have had to skip town and I would never see them again. If DCS found out what's going on Jasmine would be taken to a home with a bunch of people who will never love her or be stuck at home fighting for her life. At least with us she is wanted, needed and loved" I admit.

"She is. I'm happy to have her with us. I know I was on the front at first but she's a great part of the family. She's reliable and funny and really really sweet. I've never heard such manners from a kid and never felt the need to try and protect someone like I do with her. Kenny I never questioned would be okay. He's young and a lot of his issues he won't remember but she will remember this. All of this. I just hope they'll be okay" he sighs.

"Me too. I know that at least for now shes okay. I'm going to make sure she feels like she is wanted and loved. Because she is" I insist.

"You are a special person" he tries.

"Takes one to know one" I smirk.

"So what about kids? Do you want some of your own" he wonders.

I let out a sigh as I shake my head. "I don't know. Taking in kids is easy, they have problems and I have solutions. I don't have to dig to figure out what they need. With your own kids it presents new problems with solutions that aren't as easy to see. Growing up I felt things so heavily and I... I don't know if I want to put my kids through that. You know? What if I can't help my kids, what does that make me" I wonder.

"A damn good woman. Because there is no such thing as good parents and bad. Just good choices and bad ones each parent makes. Every move we make has a consequence. I know you could never do what your parents did. I know you won't be perfect either. But I think any kid would be honored to call you their mother and there's two kids who are blessed to have you in their lives. And I'm one lucky man to hope that maybe, one day, we will have kids of our own" he says slowly. I look up at him as I try to read him. While Jonathan is a emotional man it comes in spurts. Usually with reason. I've never heard him just outright say something like that.

"You want kids... with me" I ask.

"Honestly I resented kids up until I met you. I like kids don't get me wrong, but never thought of having some of my own. I'm gone a lot and I would feel guilty being away. I'm a bit of a clean freak and a germaphobe so kids aren't exactly right up my ally.

But then I met you and I realized that when I was gone they couldn't be in better hands. I see how you handle extremely difficult situations with compassion and bravery. There isn't a better person to start a family with. That is, of course if you want that" he claims.

"That's the great thing about life. Its fluidity. The ability to change with the times. Maybe the shape is a baby cradle now when it didn't used to be. But how do we start a life with you conquering the world and me trying to save it" I question.

"How about we get through the summer? See how long Jas and Ken stick around. We can still travel like you do. Swim around in the fluidity before we decide on a solid" he offers.

"That actually sounds perfect. I don't think we're quite in the place to be planning for kids. But it's nice to know where we stand going forward. It'll make life easier" I admit.

"You know I never had that talk with a girlfriend before" he admits as I raise a eyebrow.

"You haven't" I ask.

"Not even close. I guess I never really saw myself that far ahead in my life with someone" he shrugs.

"Well I'm happy you love me that much" I smile.

"I really do" he promises.

The kids get off the wheel and we grab some food. Once we were done we taxi over to the museums. It was pretty nice that everything was in a nice little location. Make for some good summer days. Jonathan and I talk about where we want to go this summer and the kids do the submarine exhibit and play with tornados. It was nice to have something a little educational as well as fun. The kids seemed to really enjoy it and I'm happy they made some memories here today.

After walking around we sit out by the water. You can see everything from this one spot. There's all the buildings and the water and people on boats. It was amazing.

"Hey Em" Jonny says randomly.

"Yeah Jon" I say as I turn to him.

"I love you" he replies making me smile.

"I love you too" I promise.