The Burden Of Love (Jonathan Toews)

Crossroad .37

Emilia

There's points in people's life's where we come to a crossroad. Sometimes it's what we want vs what we need. Sometimes it's everything we've ever known vs everything we could have. Two paths going opposite directions, two different journeys and different destinations. And you won't know where each crossroad leads for we can only walk one path. One destiny will be fulfilled while we will never know what life's like on the other sidewalk. It's hard to chose and know what decision is right.

So when you're five years old and you're given a opportunity to choose your path you can see where there's a issue. He's barley a kid, what does he know? He's only just started to live how could he possibly make a decision like this?

And while I don't think letting him choose his future like this is the best idea I also don't believe a court knows any better. He doesn't deserve to have his future be decided by a person who doesn't know what fruits he likes in his oatmeal or his favorite avenger character. The best person to decide what happens to Kenneth is Kenneth himself.

So I explain to him that his mom was here and she wanted to take him away. I know he loves us but she had a point. That was his momma and kids in his situation often times go back even though they know it's not the best. There's a bond between mother and son that's strong. But I thought we were mother and son too. I thought we were finally bonding and now I might lose him.

"You know I love you no matter what you decide, right" I sniffle. He nods his little head trying to wrap his brain around the fact his mom is downstairs and she finally wants him back. After all this time she came back. "Jon, Jas and I, we will always be here. Grandpa George too. Even if you decide that your home is away from here, this home will always be here too."

I softly kiss him on his forehead and he immediately pulls me into a hug. His arms wrap around me tight as I give him a good squeeze. He hugs Jas and Jon before going with his mom for a little. He just wanted to see her, talk to her. He needed closure in the least no matter where he ends up today. To know why she gave up on him and how she could ever leave him like that. It took him so long to get over her being gone I can only imagine what he feels like now. He's young but he is more in touch with his feeling than people would believe. Kids might be emotional but the only difference between us and them is that they don't lie to themselves to feel better. They just feel and in a way I wish we were all a little bit more like kids in that way.

I sit on a bench in the lobby as I watch Ken run into his mother's arms. I get this pain in my heart as a tear drops to my face. I don't know how much more heartbreak I can handle.

"Emmy" Jon says softly and I look up at him. He too had tears in his eyes as he places his hands on my knees. "You have done everything you should to help that kid. No matter what when he gets older he will have the lessons you gave him and it will help him get through so much. You are an amazing mother, and one hell of a woman. You did all that you can to assure that Kenneth had a home, he had love, he got to live a life that any five year old dreams of. He got that because of you. We can't control the path he walks, just cheer him on along the way" he tells me.

"I don't want to lose him" I cry. "I can't stand the thought of being without him and she... she left him. It's not fair!"

"It's not baby. It never is. We won't save all the kids who deserve to be saved. But Kenny was lucky enough to be under your wing learning from you and your grandpa. He is going to be okay, reguardless of what happens here today. And it's because of you" he promises.

15 minutes later Kenny and his mom return to the lobby. Ken runs right into Jon's arms and he picks him up. Kenny's arms wrap tightly around Jonny's neck and I smile. I place my hand on his back as the two peas in the pod were reunited again.

His mom calls me over and I brace myself. The name calling, the accusations, I'm sure she's had time to think up of things.

But this time her eyes weren't crazy, they were... sad. I actually think she had some remorse in her for what she did to her kid.

"I am going to sign full legal rights to you and Jonathan. You guys will have Kenny from here on out with no interference from me" she tells me.

I try not to act so surprised but the gasp escapes my lips before I can stop it. I shake my head as I try to piece things together. "But I thought-" I start.

"He said he likes the way you don't yell at him when he messes up. That he's sorry when he makes mistakes and he didn't mean it. You understand that but I didn't. And he likes that he doesn't feel like a mistake with you guys, he feels wanted. He loves making food with you and how you don't tell him what to do or ignore him.

I do love that boy. And I do regret leaving. But I couldn't promise him that I wouldn't leave again. He knows that. So I think it's best if he stays here with you. I know that out of the seven billion people in this world he wants to be with you most of all" she tells me.

In a bold and maybe not the best move I reach over and grab her hand. I give her a squeeze as she looks up at me with a tear on her cheek. "If you want, you can come see him. We can't have you showing up unannounced but we would love to have you over for the holidays and I know that Ken will appreciate you still being around" I assure her.

"I don't think he wants anything to do with me. He didn't even mention the fact that Jon was famous, I don't even think he knows. I thought that once I got him to see past all the nice things he has here he would want to come home. But he never said anything about the nice pent house apartment and all the hockey games. He wanted to continue to do game night and learn about cooking, a lot of things I could never be able to give him" she explains.

"Even though we don't see eye to eye I still have faith in you. I know you have the right means even if you're going about it the wrong way. I see light in you, Sheila. And I'm not your enemy. I'm here for you" I promise.

She says goodbye to Ken before heading to get the paperwork done. We take Ken back home but he turns to me when we get inside.

"Is my mom going to be okay" he asks and I give him a sad smile.

"I'm not sure. As you chose your path today you chose hers too. No one knows where these roads lead but I know she's a strong woman. I think she will be okay" I assure him.